Endurance

I went for a couple mile run the other night. My younger siblings and mom were going to walk around the lake the opposite way and we were going to cross paths at some point. I got about 90% done and there they were... all lined up to race me to the end. I was in no way ready to race to the end... I was tired after the previous 2 miles and just not ready to sprint it out at the end. I determined to keep my pace regardless of what they did. I always like to finish strong, so for the last 100 yards or so (uphill), I decided to sprint up that last hill. I had some "beat the little brother" motivation in there as well. ;) Just for the record, I found it quite humorous. :)

One of the things that I think about most while running is the life applications to running. It takes endurance. It takes planning. If I was to start out too fast, I wouldn't be able to finish. The world around us is full of every kind of instability... finances jump up and down... friends come and go... etc. I am reminded of that passage where Jesus is telling His disciples to count the cost of following Christ. The sermon on Sunday was about faithfulness to the end... even if that means death for the sake of Christ. That is endurance. That is planning to finish strong. The pace is living today in such a manner that I am ready to die for Christ if that be His plan. It is living every moment of today as a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable to God. To be holy is to be without blemish. True holiness can only be found in Christ, but He calls me to be holy as He is holy. This is the pace of being victorious over sin. Finishing strong comes when death is conquered by the glorious uniting of us with Christ at the resurrection.  Death is swallowed up in victory through Christ.

Death is a split moment out of our entire life.  We can't add or take away a moment from our life.  God determines how long we have here on earth and so it is our job to run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus who is both the author (starter) and finisher of our faith.  He hems us in behind and before in the sense of running the race.  I think of those marathon runners with the police cars all around them the entire way... they are hemed in and protected.  That is a small example of what God is for us.  He protects us along the way.  He doesn't make it so that we don't need to run, but He is right there guiding us toward the finish and then finishing with the victory over sin and death at the cross.  The battle comes in the running.  I was reading in James 5 today...

We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.

I can't think of a single person that had a tougher trial than what Job had. I'm sure there have been... but Job had it tough: his wealth was stripped away, his family was killed, his health was very bad, and his wife and friends were less than encouraging. Yet, looking at James' commentary on Job... this actually proved that God is full of compassion and mercy! God blesses those that go through trials. He is not bound to it, but I believe He takes joy in blessing His children just like earthly fathers take joy in blessing their children. God lets us walk through the trials of life... actually, I think we can say Biblically that He absolutely plans the trials of life for His glory and for our good.

God, help me to be faithful. Help me to endure. Help me to run with my eyes fully fixed on Christ.

Are You Rich?

I'm not sure why this passage had never caught my attention before, but I was reading 1 Timothy 6 tonight and verses 17-19 jumped out at me.

Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.

I feel like the church as a whole has not done a good job of instructing those who are rich as He commands. We have this idea that there are "missionaries" and there are "senders"... and I guess there is some truth to that, but 99% of us want to be the rich one that God enables to be a "sender". I know I am exaggerating, but you get my point. We are all called to be disciples and somehow we have decided that being "rich" enables us not to fulfill that command. In the name of "seeking to please God with our riches", we are actually fixing our hope on the uncertainty of riches! Our giving is rarely sacrificial... it is out of the abundance that He has given us. Sin is so often disguised by some kind of seemingly God-centered idea. We need His grace and help to uncover the areas in which we are not pleasing Him.

On the flip side, I have also found a large crowd... well at least the 1% in the church that are committed to missions (again exaggerating a bit) that see riches as evil. The truth is that most of the time the riches cause us to love money which indeed is the root of all evil, so they are right in many regards. However, it is unbalanced... if we all committed to reading the Word and doing what it says: fix our hope on God realizing that He supplies all things to us for us to enjoy, be rich in good works, be generous and ready to share (bringing more joy) for things of eternal worth... that would really solve a lot of our problems. It's interesting that we are to be "ready to share". This means that we are saving money for that purpose... to share! He gives us these things for us to enjoy. He even says that! It is not wrong to enjoy the things He has blessed us with... He loves to give His children good gifts and see our satisfaction with His gifts. Yet, I think one of the ways we can enjoy His gifts the most is to share them. One of the ways God has lead me to do this is by actually putting different spots in my budget for "sharing". I don't claim to do it the "right way". I'm not sure that there is a "one size fits all" for this kind of thing. But I know for myself, I dislike spending money and so if I don't specifically plan to share, my natural tendency is to store up treasure for myself which is of absolutely no eternal value. I have found that one part of my budget the most joyous.

I think it important that whether we have much or have little, we are applying these truths. If God is gracious to me and I am fixing my hope on the uncertainty of riches, He will strip away those riches for my good so that I will fix my hope on God! Just because you are poor doesn't mean that you don't trust the Lord and just because you are rich doesn't mean that you do! It simply means that God knows what is best for you at this time and He wants you to be faithful with what He has given. I often think about the rich young ruler and how he went away from Christ sad because he had great wealth. May God in His grace strip away my earthly possessions completely before I walk away from Him to pursue my own riches.

Life--A Gift

It's been a great birthday:

• Stayed up late talking with my mom and sister.
• The blessing of sleeping in my own bed for the first time in 10 days.
• The surprise of cookies in my car that my sister baked for me.
• Getting emails and texts and facebook messages throughout the day filled with encouragement and memories of friends.
• The reminder that life is a gift and our days are numbered as I saw an over-turned car on the freeway on the way to work.
• The blessing of spiritual food and the overwhelming love of the Father in Hosea 2.
• Exhortation from 1 Timothy 6 about fighting the good fight.
• A great prayer from the end of Ephesians 1.
• The blessing of having and out of the ordinary day at work with traveling around to different schools and being able to listen to the Word being preached and worship in singing.
• The blessing of my brother going out of his way to BBQ an amazing roast and make milk shakes.
• Etc.

The Lord has been so good to me in this short 24 hour period... and His goodness doesn't change, even though I fail to recognize His blessings so often.  The Lord has been so good to me this year.  The reality is that I am not guaranteed tomorrow or even the next hour here on earth.  Five individuals were crushed under stage equipment in Indiana where I was less than a week ago.  I don't know how long I have, but what I do know is that I need Him to teach me to number my days so that I present to Him a heart of wisdom.  I love the resolutions of Jonathan Edwards and was reminded of the one that has stood out the most to me:

Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

Life is an interesting thing.  We must live in the moment.  As Jim Elliot says and I wholeheartedly agree, "Wherever you are--be all there."  At the same time, we must have eternity in our hearts.  We are eternal beings.  What I eat today doesn't matter for eternity.  What does matter is that I do all (even the mundane things like eating) for the glory of God.  It comes down to living 100% in this moment for the glory that is to be revealed in Christ for eternity.  I fall so so short.  That is what makes Christ so real to me.  The guilt of my sin satisfied by the love of Christ in taking that guilt upon Himself so that I could be declared not guilty before the throne of God Almighty.  My sin is great, but my savior is greater still. 

God, take this year of my life and use it for Your glory.  You deserve nothing less than all of me.  Take all that You have given me, time, money, possessions, etc. and use it how You deem best.  Gently peel my fingers off anything that I am holding onto as my own that is really Yours.  Cause me to be a living sacrifice that is holy and acceptable to You this year.  Give me a heart of vision for eternal things and a heart a wisdom in how to apply that knowledge in every "this moment" of this next year.  Make me Your prized possession... not because I deserve to be, but because You deserve all of me.  Rid my heart of anything that holds me back from being fully Yours.  Thank You for this year.  I love You.

Obey Him!

I sense that God blessed the time in Atlanta. I may not be chosen... and honestly, I kind of hope that I'm not. It would simplify my life in a lot of ways with work and all; however, if God opens that door, I will consider it prayerfully. I really just want to honor the Lord. He is going to have to make it clear... and I know that He will because shepherds do not hide from their sheep. They make themselves seen and they lead with wisdom. I am depending on Him to come through as I know He will. I look forward to whatever He has in store.

I was listening to a sermon on the way home today about how our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. It very much fit in with these verses from Jeremiah 7 that I read this evening.

Will you steal, murder, and commit adultery and swear falsely, and offer sacrifices to Baal and walk after other gods that you have not known, then come and stand before Me in this house, which is called by My name, and say, ‘We are delivered!’—that you may do all these abominations? Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of robbers in your sight? Behold, I, even I, have seen it,” declares the Lord. “As for you, do not pray for this people, and do not lift up cry or prayer for them, and do not intercede with Me; for I do not hear you." But this is what I commanded them, saying, "Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it may be well with you."

I am thankful that God does not just let us sin without causing us to really consider the impact of it. It is such a blessing that we have the Holy Spirit living within us to convict of sin and righteousness and judgement. He sees all. None of our thoughts, actions, or motives are hidden from Him. I don't like to hear those words from Him, "I do not hear you.", but I must take all sin seriously. His grace is far greater than all my sin, but it must be taken seriously. It must turn me to love my Savior so much more than I already do. He tore the veil that separated me from Him so that I could come boldly before His throne of grace to obtain help in time of need. I think that must be why Paul says to pray without ceasing... I am never in a place where I don't need His help.

God, Your grace is truly amazing. The reality of You not being able to look on sin would be instant death were in not for Your grace and Christ taking the full weight of my sin on Himself. Thank You for these Old Testaments pictures of what it is like to be separated from You. I need these reminders so that I love You more. Thank You for showing me so constantly how much I need Christ. Let me never try to do life without You. I cannot do without You. I must know You. Teach me full submission and humility. Do the heart surgery that needs to be done in order to refine me. Make me Your prized possession. I need You to strip anything out of my heart that is not of You. Put in me a completely pure heart. I want Your motives. I must have them. By Your grace, do not allow me to take the glory that belongs only to You. Take any blinders off my eyes that may be hindering me from seeing You and Your ways clearly and give me the heart to follow. I know You will do that work because it is Your will. I love You. Thank You for Christ. Help me to live no longer for myself, but for Christ Who died and rose again on my behalf. Make Your glory central to everything I do.

Headed to Atlanta!

It's hard to believe that it is almost August already! It seems like summer just began. Work is especially busy during the summer because it is when we do all of our biggest updates. I think this has added to the "shortness" of summer, but it has been very good and profitable. I am working a half day tomorrow and heading off to Atlanta for the weekend. If I may be completely honest, I wasn't planning on continuing handball. They sent out applications for the Panamerican Games and I decided not to fill out the application. After the deadline for turning in the application was up, I received an email saying that I really should fill out the application. It appears that God was opening this door and shoving me through despite my resistance. So, I am headed off to Atlanta tomorrow to play handball. They will be choosing the guys from the national team pool that will represent the USA at the Panamerican Games. Most likely, I won't be picked... actually, I probably don't deserve to be picked. This is a good thing because it takes the pressure off my performance and puts my focus where it should be--on honoring Christ. I don't know what He has planned for this weekend, but my desire is that God would be honored with how I play. I plan to do my very best... never give up... be strong... play smart... etc. All these things are good ideas, but without Him, I can do none of them. I am looking forward to this weekend and what God will do. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 comes to mind both in the physical sense and more importantly, the spiritual sense.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

God, help me to do my best this weekend so as to win. I humbly admit that I don't know what true winning may look like, but You know. I ask that You would help me to really win... not the "winning" that produces nothing more than personal fame, but rather, the winning of the heart... winning that brings honor to You. Show me what it means to "win" this weekend and help me to run whole-heartedly with that aim at the center of everything I do. Keep my heart and mind fixed on You.

Complete Cleansing

The Lord has been really blessing at work. I have three very large tasks to get done by the end of the week and honestly, I didn't see how I was going to be able to get them done. My boss authorized overtime (not manditory, but allowed), so I have been working a tiny bit of overtime. I think it's important to keep a balanced life even with the added stress of deadlines. It is amazing how the Lord enables us to get things done in the time that He gives us to do them. I think back to school and how often it was that I didn't feel like I had enough time and yet somehow, I graduated. It was all a blur... day by day not knowing how I was going to get everything done and finding Him to be faithful in helping me get it done. God really blessed today. I was working on one of these projects and my boss sent me an email telling me to make the other thing more of a priority. I had already made quite a bit of good progress on the other thing and so I kind of wanted to continue working on that, but I went ahead and worked on the other project. I honestly thought this project was going to take like at least 2 days. God blessed so amazingly... He graciously gave me one of those "light bulb" moments where I understood exactly what was going on and exactly how I was going to develop this new thing. In about an hour and a half, I had it working! God is so good! He didn't need to bless me in that way. The struggling and fighting with it is often good for learning patience (taking a while) and humility (needing help), but He gave me the easy road today. I'm very thankful for His help.

I have been reading in Jeremiah the last few days. The call to have our hearts completely toward the Lord has continually caught my attention. In Jeremiah 4:1-2, God instructs Israel as to what they ought to do and promises blessing if they do them.

"If you will return, O Israel," declares the Lord, "Then you should return to Me. And if you will put away your detested things from My presence, And will not waver, And you will swear, 'As the Lord lives,' In truth, in justice and in righteousness; Then the nations will bless themselves in Him, And in Him they will glory."

There are two big things here: return to the Lord (including putting away anything that is hindering us from being fully committed to Him), and don't waver. I think of Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt when she looked back longingly on Sodom. May the Lord give us hearts that detest the things that He hates. He provides the grace and help to both hate those things and not waver in turning from them. He enables us to be faithful.

God, I confess to You that I don't always hate the things you hate. I don't always love the things that You love. Forgive me of my sin and turn my heart to love You fully. I want to have Your heart so that my desires are a mirror of Yours. Use me to carry out Your will as You deem fit, not because You need me, but because I need to be used by You for my own good. Accomplish Your will in me.

Take It All!

This seems to be a far too commonly necessary prayer of mine these days: God, please take it all! I wish that this could be one of those one time decisions... and in a sense, it is. When we become a child of God, we have had a change in ownership. We are not our own. He purchased us with His blood and our every breath, thought, emotion... everything is His. The salvation cry is one of complete surrender knowing that the best of our good works cannot meet God's standard. The great news is that we are no longer loved based on what we have done, but rather based on what Christ has done. His perfect obedience is now mine. This is why I feel that this prayer is needed way too often. It's done... He owns all. I just seem to think that I can hold onto bits and pieces sometimes. The reality is that I am holding nothing. It doesn't matter if I think that I am or not... I can't. I come to Him once again asking Him to take everything for the sake of my own heart. It is not because He doesn't own everything already or that I could hold onto something that isn't mine. It's for my sake and mine only that I come to Him humbly admitting my pride in thinking that I have a better plan than He does. I do not. I must plead with Him to graciously not give me my way when it doesn't line up with His.

The sermon this morning was about faith and God's promises. I have somehow failed to notice so many of the places in scripture where God says, "I will..." do this or that. Scripture is full of the history of God's faithfulness. When He says that He will do something, He always does it. He never once has not done what He said He would do. Satan is the master deceiver... He loves to fill our minds with lies about God and His character... maybe that He is slow... or maybe He will never come through... or maybe He didn't really mean what He said... etc. The only description of God as being slow that comes to mind is that He is slow to wrath and abounding in love! We must be so filled with the Spirit that those lies of Satan are instantly taken captive to the obedience of Christ.

I read an article today about a family who has a son named Peter who was in a serious car accident a little over a year ago while heading to mow the lawn for a widow. As they recounted all his (and their) hopes and dreams and see what they have now, I can't imagine how difficult that would be. They have had their hearts so fixed on the Lord during this time and it has been such an incredible encouragement to me. One of the phrases from that article was this: "The message is much more: you do what's right and leave the results to God."

I needed to hear that today. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that He always answers prayer when He doesn't answer how we want Him to and when we want Him to... but He always answers. It is so important that right now... this very moment... that I do what God instructs me to do with this moment and trust Him for the rest. So, I come again asking Him to take it all, declaring my full trust in His faithfulness to complete what He has started in ways far better than what I could even imagine, and by His grace, letting that trust result in full obedience right now wherever I am.

Taste and See!

Work has been pretty intense the last several days. We just published a rather huge update and our lead developer was out today (the day after the update), which meant that resolving any issues pretty much fell in my lap. I did greatly enjoy it, but it certainly was not stress free. I like challenges. I would not do well in a work environment that didn't present me with challenges. It's really neat how the Lord uses times like this to show me a bit more of His wisdom in placing me where He has placed me. At the same time, He does so in such a way as to keep me humble. There was an issue on the live production server and so I went ahead and made a change and published it. I figured that something working was better than something not working, even if it wasn't exactly how people wanted it. My boss wasn't too pleased with this... and I should have known better. He was very gracious and said that I probably did the right thing in this instance, but strongly encouraged me not to make a pattern of doing such. I'm thankful for him. I need that kind of strong and gracious guidance. God has been so good to me by giving me my boss.

I was reading this evening in 1 John 4 and also read some of Spurgeon's writings. 1 John 4:16 really stuck out to me in light of Spurgeon's commentary on one of the times that God rebukes Israel for wanting to go back to Egypt.

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us.

O true believer, called by grace and washed in the precious blood of Jesus, thou hast tasted of better drink than the muddy river of this world's pleasure can give thee; thou hast had fellowship with Christ; thou hast obtained the joy of seeing Jesus, and leaning thine head upon his bosom. Do the trifles, the songs, the honors, the merriment of this earth content thee after that? -Spurgeon

We are to taste and see that the Lord is good. He is the very definition of love. His love is better than life! We must not lose sight of the precious possession of Christ in us. He is our life. If we truly consider Christ and the joys found only in Him, all other desires that are incompatible with love of Christ would vanish completely. The joys of life outside of Christ are as drinking mud. May it be that we find no contentment outside of Christ and His perfect plans.

God, give me a godly discontentment for anything that is not of You. By Your grace, don't allow me to settle for anything less than Your best. Don't let me turn Your ways aside for a way of my own design. Bring me joy in submission. Cause my soul to find complete rest and refreshment under the shadow of Your wings. Put Your laws upon my heart. Make them to be my delight. Remind me of all the ways I have tasted and seen that You are good so that I would desire none but You.

Wholly Yours

We studied the lampstand today in Sunday school. It was a great reminder that God has given each of us as His children a task to let our light shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify God who is in heaven. It also was a good reminder that this isn't a task that God just sends us out to do without support. He "walks amongst the lampstands" in Revelation. He empowers us to do His work. We also know that the battle is won in Christ already, yet, we must be faithful to Him. We are doing a study on End Times at church coming up here pretty soon and so we passed out invites to this study to a few hundred homes this evening. Usually, there are people outside and it often turns into an opportunity to talk with them a bit and possibly share the gospel. This evening was odd... I didn't talk with a single person the entire time. As I was kind of telling God of my frustration along these lines while I was putting the invites on door steps, He graciously reminded me that I could be praying for each of these people. I came to a house that had incense by the door... I believe they are Hindu. It was a sobering reminder that though the people in this certain house are clearly lost... and fully believing things that are false... these other houses that I am passing by probably have people in them just as lost in sin--just as hopeless. I walked by a house that had the star of David imprinted in their sidewalk leading up to their door. It served as a reminder of the Jews that need Christ. I know that I under estimate the power of prayer. I was so fixed on talking with people and yet the Lord graciously made it so that I wouldn't talk to a single person, but rather had time to pray. Praying ought not be an excuse for not being obedient to what He calls us to do, but it also ought not be minimized. The fervant prayer of a righteousness man accomplishes much.

It is so important that I am wholly devoted to Him, so that I see His purposes... not just the obvious ones when He gives opportunities to talk about Him, but the ones that no one else will ever know or see. When no one but the Lord sees, that is the true test of character. God, make me a faithful man. In Your grace, don't allow me to look down on small things because they are small, but rather work diligently to accomplish them through the power of Your Spirit. Teach me to find true joy and fulfillment in following You and only You. Rid me of selfish desires and the pride that I so naturally cling to. Strip it away. Make me wholly Yours.

A Lesson From Cookies

Jonathan is playing piano this week at church, so they went off to music practice the other day. When they left, they requested that I bake some cookies. I'm definitely not the best cook around, but I can follow directions. Anyway, I made some cookies yesterday and as I was mixing the cookie dough, God used that to remind me of the fact that I don't know the outcome of what He is going to do or how He is going to do it... but that I can trust Him. If you actually think about it... it's pretty crazy that this white powdery stuff that we call flour which tastes absolutely disgusting by itself would be the most used ingredient in these cookies. I mixed the dry ingredients... flour, sugar, salt, baking soda... it really wasn't looking anything like cookies. Then I mixed the wet ingredients... egg, an extra egg yoke, melted butter, vanilla... not only did it look gross, it tasted... okay, I didn't really tasted it. ;) As I was looking down at these two bowls... one of a bunch of dry ingredients that wouldn't taste good at all together, the other of these wet ingredients that wouldn't taste good at all together, it really is pretty amazing that you can mix these two things and it becomes a dough... and not just any dough... it becomes the perfect dough for chocolate chip cookies. The fact is that life is infinitely more complex than baking chocolate chip cookies, but we have the all-wise God who knows all the perfect ingredients, when to use each of them, how long, etc. I thought yesterday... these might have been better with walnuts in them. God will never do His work on us and then decide it would have been better if He did it a different way. He makes no mistakes! He knows the beginning and the end... He P-L-A-N-S the begginning and the end and everything in between.

I was reminded of these things as I read Psalm 65 this evening.

How blessed is the one whom You choose and bring near to You to dwell in Your courts. We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, Your holy temple. By awesome deeds You answer us in righteousness, O God of our salvation, You who are the trust of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest sea; Who establishes the mountains by His strength, being girded with might; Who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, and the tumult of the peoples. They who dwell in the ends of the earth stand in awe of Your signs; You make the dawn and the sunset shout for joy.

He is the trust of all the ends of the earth! We stand in awe at His work... and we barely see a glimpse of His work! That beautiful sunrise this morning... and the sunset tonight are little hints of His glory that shout out joy--His joy. God, help me to see Your work around me and muse on Your deeds. Fill my heart with the joy in seeing Your work starting within the unseen places of my heart and going to the ends of the earth. When I don't see how Your ingredients are working together, point my heart to Your faithfulness. Remind me of the Red Sea crossings. Teach me full dependence on You, for Your love is better than life.

Firmly Planted by Streams of Water

My boss and I spent half the day training some principals how to use our data management system today. It was kind of strange for me because I have always seen principals as authoritative and strong leaders. However, in this context, I was leading them. It caused me to reflect on the faithfulness of the Lord and how He has has called "lines to fall in pleasant places" for me. I spent much of the drive back with my boss talking about how thankful I am for the position that I have... how I could have been in so many other positions and yet, I am blessed to be where I am. God really lead my feet around some huge pits. He has been so gracious to me.

I was reading tonight from Psalm 63... a passage that I continually cling to.

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

I love when I wake up during the night with thoughts of Him on my mind... with songs of joy in my heart. Sometimes I cling to Him out of pure joy in having direct access to Him, other times I feel like I have fighting to cling to Him under crashing waves. Either way, it is not my clinging that matters... it is the right hand of Almighty God that upholds me. I am reminded of Psalm 1 and the description of a man that depends on the Lord--he flees from wickedness, he avoids scoffing, he delights in the Lord and His commandments knowing that His way is always best, and he meditates on it, longing to know Him and His ways more. This man is the one who is firmly planted by streams of water who yields fruit in his season. We ought not be discouraged if we don't see immediate fruit... He brings the harvest.

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Only Two Responses

This evening I was reading in Acts 7. You really can't read just part of it, so I am not going to attempt to post it here. Stephen is giving history of the people of Israel from the time of Abraham to the time of Christ. The first thing that catches my attention is how well Stephen knew the scripture. He was put on the spot in front of all these people in authority and God gave him incredible boldness to speak the truth of scripture. The second thing that caught my attention is the people's response to him. Rather than being torn apart by the depth of their sin, they chose to reject the message and kill the messenger.

The sobering reality is that we can do this very same thing. You know those people that make you feel convicted when you are around them? Our natural tendency is not to humble ourselves before them, but rather to take up defenses or avoid them completely. I have found that even when those around us are not completely right... or even mostly wrong in their thoughts about us, there is usually some part that is true. We must not ignore the truth that is there. There are only two responses to truth, either we humble ourselves and submit ourselves wholeheartedly to it, or we reject it. There is no middle ground.

God, help us to see the truth of Your Word as it applies to us. Allow it to do the careful and complete surgery on our hearts that must be done in order to clease us of all sin and purify us for Yourself. Show us any area in which we are rejecting Your truth and give us hearts of humility to listen once again. Unite our hearts to fear Your name. Teach us not only to serve You, but to love You with all of our hearts not with motives of personal gain, but simply because You are worthy of our love. Make me to love You more.

Stepping Up

Peter often gets a bad rep because he denied Christ three times... couldn't keep his eyes on the Lord when he was walking on the stormy sea... opened his big mouth on several ocassions... even had Jesus say to him, "Get behind me, Satan." In some ways, he deserves that bad rep. But, as I look at my life and my heart, I see many of those same characteristics, perhaps not in such big situations and written down in a book that will last forever... but if I am fully honest with myself, there are many times where my actions deny Him even if my mouth does not. There are times that the words that come out of my mouth are not seasoned with salt, bringing grace to the hearer. The fact is that anything that is not of faith is sin. If my words are not of Him, they are of Satan. There is no middle ground. As Paul says in Romans, we are slaves either of righteousness or of sin.

I was reading in Acts 1 this evening and am just amazed by what the Lord does through Peter. God used him in a mighty way... yes, the fearful man that denied Christ three times even after being warned about that very thing just hours earlier. God used him. This gives me great encouragement when it comes to areas of failure. It is when we are weak that He is strong. When the apostles were sitting around praying and kind of not knowing what to do, Peter stepped up to that plate.

At this time Peter stood up in the midst of the brethren (a gathering of about one hundred and twenty persons was there together), and said, “Brethren, the Scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit foretold by the mouth of David concerning Judas, who became a guide to those who arrested Jesus. For he was counted among us and received his share in this ministry.” (Now this man acquired a field with the price of his wickedness, and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his intestines gushed out. And it became known to all who were living in Jerusalem; so that in their own language that field was called Hakeldama, that is, Field of Blood.) “For it is written in the book of Psalms, ‘Let his homestead be made desolate, and let no one dwell in it'; and, ‘let another man take his office.’ Therefore it is necessary that of the men who have accompanied us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us— beginning with the baptism of John until the day that He was taken up from us—one of these must become a witness with us of His resurrection.” So they put forward two men, Joseph called Barsabbas (who was also called Justus), and Matthias. And they prayed and said, “You, Lord, who know the hearts of all men, show which one of these two You have chosen to occupy this ministry and apostleship from which Judas turned aside to go to his own place.” And they drew lots for them, and the lot fell to Matthias; and he was added to the eleven apostles.

In the midst of this difficult time where Christ had just left them, Peter is there thinking clearly through God's Word and applying it directly to the situation. That is what makes a good leader. Yes, leaders have weak spots. Yes, they will stumble and fall at times. But, it is in those difficult times when they are able to listen to the Spirit within the noise of life and hear His voice through His Word. Leading isn't just hearing His voice, but rather, hearing it and being the first to obey and apply it. That is what Peter did. He explained God's Word to them and then acted on it with their full support. They kept their dependence on the Lord... "Lord, You know the hearts of these men..." and they made their request known to God. There was a healthy simplicity about their faith. They trusted the Lord fully. They humbled themselves before Him. They listened to Him. They loved Him. They obeyed Him. God, give me a heart that listens and obeys.

Fixing Your Gaze on Him

This evening I decide to read what we had read earlier in family devotions. I am finding it so important to make sure that all sin (no matter how big or small it may appear) does not go unprotested in my heart. Passages like... taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ... laying aside the sin that so easily entangles us... fleeing from sin and pursuing righteousness and holiness... letting the meditation of our hearts be acceptable to God... etc. all flood my mind. I have been listening to Exodus off and on in the car on the way to work and it is continually serving as a reminder that sin hardens our hearts. Letting little things go makes room for bigger things. This is the very thing we read about tonight in Proverbs 4:23-27.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; turn your foot from evil.

One of the dangers in looking closely at all the "small things" that must not go through our hearts without a battle... is that we can lose sight of the big picture. We see how the Pharisees were focused on things like mint tithe but robbing widows and not taking care of their parents. To assume that mastering the little things means we master the big things is not a safe assumption. We must watch over our hearts with all diligence in both the big things and the small things. I have been thinking lately about how His Word is sharper than a two-edged sword and judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart. I am in constant need of Him to show me my own motives so that my heart would be fixed on Him.

God, please help me to be diligent about listening to Your still small voice concerning my heart. Search me and know my thoughts. Reveal any sin that resists You in my heart. Cleanse my heart so that the words that I say are filled with grace. Fix my eyes on You so that when the storms of life come, I trust You with all my heart rather than leaning on my own understanding. Cause the things that would side-track me to be of no appeal to me. Let me find fullest joy in You alone. Let love for Christ, every motive inspire. I need You to be the center... my All.

The Side Issues

One thing that God has been teaching me lately is that I must not ignore any kind of "side issues" in my life. I had let my room get out of hand... it was a disaster... and I hadn't been keeping good track of my finances as I ought to. I wasn't spending like I shouldn't, but I wasn't keeping track of it either. I believe that is one of my responsibilities as a steward of the money He has given me... to keep good track of it and where it is going. The Lord had been convicting me of these two things. I started noticing that Satan was starting to use them as a foot hold in my heart to remind me of those failures and attempt to make me believe that failing in other areas was okay because I "already failed"... so why worry about it? I am thankful for the Holy Spirit and the fact that He is my ever present help in time of need... when those lies from Satan come, the Holy Spirit is there to fill me with Biblical thoughts about full submission to Him.

I decided that though my room being a mess isn't "eternally significant" necessarily, it is important... same thing with my finances. I am thankful for godly friends and commitment to keep me accountable to get those things taken care of. These issues which may be deemed as small from the outside were of vital importance for my heart. I noticed that my desire for the Word the last couple days was decreasing. I wanted so much to have a strong desire for the Word. I knew I must read it even if I didn't feel like it, but I desired so strongly to "feel like it". I pled with the Lord to renew that desire though I am committed to doing it regardless of how I feel. He answered that prayer and gave abundance of joy in His Word this morning.

Psalm 4 has been on my heart since about the end of March. I read that along with some other passages. It is such a great reminder for me to trust the Lord and be obedient.

But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself; The Lord hears when I call to Him. Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And trust in the Lord.

God, thank You for restoring my soul, for leading me by the still waters of Your Word. By your grace and mercy, I ask that You would continue to cause the desire for Your Word to grow in my heart. Even more than that, cause my desire to obey Your Word to grow. Let no vice or sin remain that resists Your holy war in my heart. I want you to dwell here in my heart without rivals. Make me as soft clay in Your skillful hands. Thank You that Your mercies never cease. Thank You for drawing to mind the "side isues" of life that are really main issues. Continually search my heart and show me if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in Your everlasting path.

Hang In There

There are times that I feel a bit overwhelmed, perhaps because I am not trusting God enough. It is in times like these that I am even more overwhelmed by His grace... almost like He has His arms around me saying, "Hang in there. You can trust Me. I'm not finished." He often speaks to me in this way through His word. I was reading Psalm 94 this evening.

If I should say, "My foot has slipped," Your lovingkindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.

We used to go to Colorado every summer and dad spoke at Summit Ministries. This verse brings back a memory from one of those days in Colorado. Every 2 weeks, they do a "manly hike" early one morning up Red Mountain. It's only about a mile or so, but it's a steep mile. On the way down, several of us run down. There is loose gravel so it is almost like you are jumping and sliding... jumping and sliding all the way down. It's a blast. The one thing that always makes it more exciting is when the loose gravel ends and the sharp rock section begins. It had been raining and I slipped on one of these rocks going almost full speed and kind of ate it face first into more rocks. You know that feeling right before you fall... that feeling of... "This is going to hurt." It is in those very times (in the spiritual sense) that God is right there to hold me up. When there is not a thing I can do to save myself and by all fleshly feelings, I am done for. He will take hold of me with that strong Fatherly grip that never slips.

It is in this confidence that I can have great delight. He robs sin and death of their victory and claims it for His own. Isn't it amazing that those last moments before death, when hope is gone and you "give up"... that is when He wins the ultimate battle in us... completely purifying us and bringing us into His presence? This experience of Him gaining the victory in the completion of our sanctification isn't a unique experience. He is holding us now. When we don't know where our foot is going to land... we just know it's in the air and hope that it lands in a solid place... that is the moment that we must trust the Lord. Actually, there is never a moment that we may stop trusting Him, but especially when we don't know what will happen next. It is such a God glorifying thing to trust Him when we can't even fathom what He will do. God, give me that kind of dependence on You.

This Time I Will Praise the Lord

Jonathan and I had a neat opportunity today to play the piano at a city event. It was neat to see their openness to the Lord. When Jonathan was asked about his aspirations regarding music, he said he just wanted to glorify God. Those words make a big brother so proud (in the right way). :) I am so thankful for Jonathan and love getting to see him and play a small part in his growth in the Lord. God is making him into a very neat, godly young man. I am so thankful! It was neat to see others singing Christian songs as well at this public event. I played things from the top of my head. I was playing "It is Well" and a lady that was sitting near by was singing along. At first when I was asked to do it, I really didn't want to do it. I don't like performances, but I finally decided that if I was going to do it, I must worship Him through it. I really enjoy just sitting at the piano and playing to the Lord (in the quiet of my home)... and I decided that I could do so in this case as well. I was thankful for the opportunity and pray that God used it to encourage someone listening.

I was reading this evening in Genesis 29. The ending is sad with Jacob being deceived regarding marrying Leah... but even more sad than that is the lack of love that Jacob showed to her and her trying to impress Jacob so that she would be loved. Take a look at verses 31-35.

Now the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah conceived and bore a son and named him Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has seen my affliction; surely now my husband will love me.” Then she conceived again and bore a son and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.” So she named him Simeon. She conceived again and bore a son and said, “Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore he was named Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.

I think it is important to note God's part in all of this. Sometimes we feel that He doesn't see or doesn't care about our trials, but not only did God bless Leah with children, He chose to withhold them from Rachel. Having said this, we see Leah continually hoping that her husband will love her. Yes, Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah, but that does not remove his responsibility before the Lord to love her. Love is a choice. Even through it all, we see that God is at work in Leah's heart to teach her to depend on the Lord even though she was unloved by Jacob. That phrase "This time I will praise the Lord." really caught my attention. She finally got it. God blessing her was not for the purpose of manipulating Jacob into loving her... it was simply for her to take joy in the Lord and praise Him! I am not advocating that any man treat his wife in such a manner (just to clarify). Jacob failed in a major way to meet the needs of Leah; yet, the Lord was enough.

God, search my heart and show me where my motives are impure. Show me where I am seeking the love and praise of man rather than the approval of You. Show me where I am using Your blessings for selfish gain. Convict me of sin and lead me to repentance. Cause my heart to overflow with praise for You for Your abundant blessings. Make me a man of thankfulness. Cause me to see how You are fulfilling my every need and praise You for it.

I Remember

I have been continually amazed by God's goodness these last several weeks. I am so undeserving of His blessings and yet He is continually blessing. I had the opportunity to go to a pretty important meeting for work the other day. I really enjoy those kinds of meetings where I am listening to different people and gathering information on what we need to do in order to develop the software to meet the needs of different people. I was surprised when I was asked to go because I am the newest member of the development team... certainly not the smartest or most talented. My boss said that he would probably be using me for more meetings like this in the future. I was praying before the meeting that God would put a guard over my mouth. It is so easy to say too much or too little in these meetings. It really is one of those things where I have to be constantly dependent on Him for wisdom. I am very thankful to the Lord for His blessing in this regard... I am definitely undeserving of it, but very thankful.

This evening I was reading in Deuteronomy 32... such a beautiful passage about the character of God.

Is not He your Father who has bought you? He has made you and established you. Remember the days of old, Consider the years of all generations. Ask your father, and he will inform you, Your elders, and they will tell you. When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, When He separated the sons of man, He set the boundaries of the peoples according to the number of the sons of Israel. For the Lord's portion is His people.

I needed this reminder tonight of being owned by Him. He is the one that sets our boundaries. He is the one that establishes us. The cool thing about this is that since He has always been faithful, there is not an earthly father that you can't ask about God and His work... and if they are truthful, they can't deny His work and His faithfulness. They can't deny that His boundaries are in fact best. There is so much rest in that. He is our Rock! All His work is perfect. He has never once been unjust. God, help me to remember your character so that I love You how I ought to.

He Meets Our Needs

I was thinking last night about some of my frustrations with lack of young men my age with whom I can have continual fellowship. I was reminded that if He is the One who is daily bearing all my burdens, He needs to hear what they are. Yes, He knows my burdens better than I know them, but He commands us to cast our cares on Him--to leave them at His feet and let Him do with them as He deems best. I had kind of forgotten about that today until the Lord totally met those needs. He blessed with the opportunity to spend some time with a good friend of mine this morning for about an hour and then received a text message from another friend asking if I had time for lunch. The Lord graciously worked it out in such a way that I worked extra yesterday and was able to take an extra long lunch today. I am so convicted of my slowness in taking things to Him in prayer. God, give me the humility to take all to You in urgent prayer. I can't afford to be self-relient in any way. Cause me to be constantly giving You all my cares so that You can carry me. Thank You for being such a gracious and loving heavenly Father. You truly do lead me by still waters and restore my soul.

When He Gives the Words

It is such a huge temptation to take things into our own hands... to depend upon our own wisdom... etc. I woke up this morning with a song in my head which has Proverbs 3:5-6 in the middle of it. I have had that specific part stuck throughout the day. I love when things like that are stuck in my head. The truths are so foundational and simple, but can be such a challenge.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

That phrase, "with all of your heart", is too often overlooked. We can't compare ourselves to others and then tell God how good we are by trusting Him with some or even most of our hearts. God is not impressed by my wisdom. Actually, if it truly is wise, He gave it to me. Leaning not on my own understanding must be what drives me to my knees in prayer. He said that if anyone lacks wisdom, we can ask of Him and He will give it--that is submission to His ways... that is acknowledgement of Him. When we do this, He doesn't promise a road of ease, but He does promise that it will be straight. I think we are often surprised by what He does because we are trusting our own wisdom to make decisions far too much of the time. If we were fully in-tune with Him, I think we would be surprised very little by what He does. In fact, I believe He would be creating those desires in our heart to prepare us for it. His ways are higher than our ways. I am not trying to say otherwise, but I do think that there are unnecessary "surprises" due to our lack of seeking His wisdom before our own.

I was reading tonight in Acts 6 and looking at the example of Stephen who was clearly in-tune with what the Lord was doing not only inside himself, but also in those around him. Take a look at this:

And Stephen, full of grace and power, was performing great wonders and signs among the people. But some men from what was called the Synagogue of the Freedmen, including both Cyrenians and Alexandrians, and some from Cilicia and Asia, rose up and argued with Stephen. But they were unable to cope with the wisdom and the Spirit with which he was speaking... and fixing their gaze on him, all who were sitting in the Council saw his face like the face of an angel.

When we submit ourselves to His way, He provides the words far above and beyond what we could even dream of thinking to say. God is so infinitely wise and He is not only willing, but He has told us to ask Him for wisdom. It is His will for us to have it. It's not like we are trying to get something out of Him that He is holding back... He wants us to be wise children.

God, give me humility to see the ways in which I am leaning on my own understanding. Teach me to trust You with all of my heart. By Your grace, don't let me be content with anything less. I ask that You give me wisdom... You know more than I just how desperately I need it. I have no wisdom of my own even though I try to act like I do at times. Crush all of that pride and turn my heart toward glorifying You with all that is within me. Take all that I am... not just some of me... not just what I feel like giving you... I need You take take it all.

The Sin of Pride

God has been really blessing. He has continually poured out His grace and love... giving enough light for the next step and yet being wise in not showing me everything in order to keep me dependent on Him. I was thinking about His wisdom in doing this as I was reading Proverbs 26:5-12 this evening.

Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes. He cuts off his own feet and drinks violence Who sends a message by the hand of a fool. Like the legs which are useless to the lame, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools. Like one who binds a stone in a sling, So is he who gives honor to a fool. Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools. Like an archer who wounds everyone, So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by. Like a dog that returns to its vomit Is a fool who repeats his folly. Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

It just struck me... you answer a fool according to his folly for one reason: so that he doesn't become wise in his own eyes--that is the real danger! God hardly makes it clearer... He is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). We have been reading in Revelation during family devotions and I don't know about you, but I don't much like the idea of God being opposed to me. It wouldn't be honest to say that pride is not an issue in my heart. It most certainly is. I like to be right. I like to win. I like to have a plan and watch it work perfectly. I like to be honored.

I believe that all these desires are not wrong in and of themselves... actually, I think that God gave these desires. So often, we try to kill desires that are God-given rather than looking at them through His eyes... through Biblical glasses and "taking into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." Throughout scripture, He talks about many of these things in a positive way:

The desire to be "right" is a good one... "The Lord will repay each man for his righteousness and his faithfulness"(1 Samuel 26:23).

The desire to "win" is a good one... "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win" (1 Cor. 9:24).

The desire to make good plans is a good one... "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord" (Proverbs 16:1).

The desire to be honored is a good one... "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time" (1 Peter 5:6).

I know exactly what you are thinking... but, Daniel, your desires mentioned above are not good ones. Let me say that the desires are good... even from God, but the heart and how I use those desires is far too often pride-filled. As I look at these verses, I can't help but notice that what God wants me to understand about these desires that He has given me is that they are supposed to humble me. I am supposed to be "right" in the fullest sense... I am supposed to live righteously. Living "right" is submitting to Him--humility! My desire to win isn't supposed to be for my own fame, it is to prove one more time that God is faithful to help me keep running when I clearly can't on my own strength--humility! My desire to make good plans and see them come to pass should not turn me to pride in my own wisdom, but realize that any wisdom is from the Lord and if "my plan" does come to pass, hopefully, it is because it is His will and He has done the work of grace to cause my heart to be in line with His--humility! The last one is the most obvious one... my desire to be honored should not be one that is based on my own merit (because I have none of my own), this desire must be fully reliant upon God because He knows when it is wise to honor me. He also knows when I need to be dishonored for my own good and for His glory to be renewed again in my heart.

God, teach me true humility. Guard me against turning the desires that You give for Your glory into an opportunity to glorify myself in the eyes of men. Teach me to honor You not just with words, but with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. Cause me to love Your glory... make it my passion and joy. Do whatever it takes to glorify Yourself in me.

Joy in the Small Things

I have been struggling a bit with my involvement in church ministry. It is so easy to be so involved in ministry that I miss out on the fellowship which is so vital to the Christian life. Several weeks back, the Lord blessed with a week off right when I needed it most. God continually amazes me with how He knows exactly what I need when I need it. He never fails to come through... not even once! I have felt that personal ministry opportunities have been lacking in my schedule and really didn't know exactly what to do about it. I am a firm believer that all of life is ministry; however, some situations lend themselves better than others for personal ministry. God can and does use even the smallest of actions for His glory, but it is a blessing when He enables us to focus on personal ministry. We had the Bible study at the park again tonight and my part of the personal ministry ended up being playing with a young father's boys for an hour while he talked with one of our elders. We prayed in the car on the way to the Bible study that God would bring someone who knew the Lord but needed to turn back to Him. God did exactly that! It was so neat to see the body of Christ work together:

It started with God bringing this young father and his sons to the park.

Next, God gave the boldness to one of the ladies at church to go up to him and tell him that she and her husband would be willing to play with the kids if he wanted to join the Bible study.

Next, God gave the courage for him to come and join us.

When everyone had to leave, God graciously chose to use me to play with the kids so that God could speak through one of men at church to this young father.

That right there is the body of Christ at work. He did all the work, but graciously chose to use us as willing vessels. Each of us had different parts with different difficulties. I clearly had the easiest part, but an essential part all the same. It is such a joy to be used by Him. I really see this as filling that hole in my heart for personal ministry opportunities. No doubt, the Lord will grant opportunities to talk with people, but if God wants to use me to play with kids so that He can speak through someone else, I am all in!

The message was about self-righteousness this morning. Pastor Tim talked about the desire that we have to "sit in the important seat". In this case, the "important seat" was ministering to this young father. I have no doubt that God used the sermon from this morning to prepare my heart to minister how He wanted me to tonight. I am so thankful for how He speaks through His Word.

God, You are so good and so faithful. Give me a tender heart for Your ways. Thank You for teaching me through Your Word and preparing me to not only serve, but to truly love it. God, it was such a small thing that You chose for me to do; yet, You gave such joy in doing it because it was for You. I ask that You would continue that work of grace in my heart. Humble me where I need to be humbled. Show me the areas in which I have neglecting serving You and give me the boldness to do it regardless of it is big or small. You are so good and faithful. Teach me Your ways, I will walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name.

Missions Right Here

The sermon was exactly what I needed to hear today about the freedom that we have by living within the boundaries that God specifies for us. Pastor Tim used the illustration of sky diving and someone without a parachute jumping next to us telling us how we are so limited and slowed down by all those straps and everything tightly bound around us. He is celebrating the freedom he has... nothing to hold him back... he is truly free! The reality is that he is under the force of gravity. We can see the big picture... this person is headed full speed to his death. Just like the man with the parachute isn't standing at the edge of the plane saying, "I won't jump out without a parachute... I won't jump out without a parachute", but rather takes great joy in the "limiting" properties of the parachute knowing that it is what keeps him safe, we ought to have absolutely no attraction for evil. When God and His perfect limitations are the source of our joy, we cannot even consider another option.

I was thinking about 2 Corinthians and Galatians 5:13 this afternoon...

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty!... For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Romans 6 makes it clear that we are always slaves to someone or something... either sin, resulting in death, or Christ resulting in sanctification and eternal life. True freedom is found only in full obedience to Christ. When we can say, "I delight to do Your will.", we are free.

I have to be completely honest and say that I didn't really feel like going to our park ministry night this evening. We were basically going to have a Bible study at the park and everyone and anyone is invited. I went even though I really didn't feel like it. I am so glad that I did... it was such an amazing encouragement to me. If you have ever seen those missions videos where people are talking about the Lord and people just start walking up to come and listen in... that is exactly what happened tonight at the park. I got to play football with kids for a while... it was such a joy. It almost brought tears to my eyes when a father came walking up followed shortly thereafter by his son who was carrying a Bible that he just bought at a garage sale yesterday for 25 cents. Oh, he was so excited! People need the Lord! God has put the desire in their hearts to know Him. He is looking for willing vessels to carry the treasure of His Word to people that He has already done a work in. God, thank You for blessing the Bible study outreach tonight despite my lack of faith. Please make me a much more willing vessel for You!

His Preservation

One of my favorite things is to wake up in the morning without any kind of alarm clock. I generally set one just in case (especially if I am up late the night before)... but I love it when I wake up before the alarm clock feeling resting and just ready to jump out of bed and start the day. Mornings generally seem rushed with all the little things to get done before leaving for work and most importantly, my time with Him. I was reading random passages this morning and ran across 1 Chronicles 29:17-18 (one of David's prayers).

Since I know, O my God, that You try the heart and delight in uprightness, I, in the integrity of my heart, have willingly offered all these things; so now with joy I have seen Your people, who are present here, make their offerings willingly to You. O Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, our fathers, preserve this forever in the intentions of the heart of Your people, and direct their heart to You.

All of life is worship. We are worshiping something or someone at all times... may it be that Christ is the object of all of our worship. As Romans 12 says... present yourselves as a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable to God--this is your reasonsable service of worship. It is reasonable because He gave all for us so that we would live no longer for ourselves, but for Him who died and rose again on our behalf.

As I sit here preparing my heart and mind for church this morning, this passage is just so applicable. I know that He sees the ways in which I have worshipped Him... and the times where I have worshipped myself or other things. My prayer is that He would delight in my worship of Him and that He would increase my desire to worship Him more fully and decrease any desire that longs to worship anything other than Him. He must increase, I must decrease! As we gather at our different churches this morning, may He smile upon our hearts of worship and preserve the intentions of our heart to glorify Him throughout the busyness of the days, weeks, and years to come. They must be more than just intentions. We can intend all we want, but if it is not driven by the power of His Spirit, it simply won't happen. May He be All and in all.

The Bearer of Our Burdens

This last weekend, God blessed me with the opportunity to surprise a friend of mine in Texas and show up at his graduation. Steve is a young man who has continually ministered to me through challenging me to continually walk closer to the Lord. After contemplating the pros and cons of going out there for a visit, the expense is so minimal in comparison to the friendship and fellowship that I have found in him. I realize that I am in a special situation where God has blessed me far beyond my needs and has enabled me to do these kinds of things, but it did get me thinking more about how I spend money. In general, I don't spend much money... but sometimes the cost doesn't even compare to the value of that person or their friendship. I think things like... "If they died, I would definitely want to show up at their funeral to tell everyone how the Lord blessed me through them."... yet, would I spend that same money to go and bless them while they live? Yes, I know this thinking can be a slippery slope and I'm not saying that you ought to spend all your money visiting people; however, I do think it is appropriate when God has provided the means, to honor those to whom honor is due... and just seek to be a blessing to them. I am so thankful for this last weekend. I was blessed far more than I was a blessing, I'm sure!

On the flight back, I was sitting next to a 5th grade boy. He was sitting next to me and across the isle was his grandma and little sister. They were traveling from TX to CO from their dad's house to their mom's. It absolutely tore me apart seeing these two children just absolutely broken down thinking over leaving their dad and going back to their mom. They clearly loved them both, but I could just sense the longing they had to have both of them together. The little boy next to me was fighting back the tears and the girl across the isle was weeping in her grandma's lap. I started talking with the boy a bit about school and sports and whatever came to mind... mostly to get his mind off leaving his dad and all of that. I had been praying prior to getting on the plane, that God would give me an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else. He certainly does answer prayer! I had my iPad (that my boss had got for each of us on the development team) with me and that turned into the perfect thing for the flight. We played all kinds of different games together (he was usually better than me). While we were playing, I got to talk with the grandma a fair amount... she was a Christian and so we were able to have some fellowship in the process. The little girl enjoyed playing different games as well. It was just such a huge blessing to me to be able to minister to them in such a small way (for me)... and yet, a big way (for them).

I was reading this evening in Psalm 68 and verses 19 and 35 really jumped out at me.

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation... O God, You are awesome from Your sanctuary! The God of Israel Himself gives strength and power to the people. Blessed be God!

It was God who was bearing the burden of those two children on the plane and their grandmother. He used me, yes... but He was bearing their burden.

What a blessing it is to be used by Him! Bearing one another's burdens can be one of the most refreshing things because it is Christ who gives us strength. It is when we are trying to bear our own burdens and others in our own strength that we are crushed under the weight of it all. All the while, He is there whispering... Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. When the storms of life surround us and we just long for a moment of rest, we would do well to remember Christ sleeping in the boat as the storm was hitting in full fury... that is the picture of His burden being light.

God, help me to always be taking all to You in earnest prayer so that I would "come to you" in the fullest sense. Give me no rest when I am trying to bear my own burdens because I must learn from You... learn that Your burden is light. Grant me true soul-refreshing rest in You as I depend on You, the One who daily bears my burdens.

You Are A Slave

I was reading in Romans 6 this morning... one of my favorite "battle" chapters when it comes to renewing the desire to obey the Lord at all costs. I just love how the Lord will speak so loud and clear when I am in need of it. I have been listening to "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer on the way to work for some added meditation throughout the day and part of the chapter I listened to was the following:

Anyone who might feel reluctant to surrender his will to the will of another should remember Jesus' words, "Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin." We must of necessity be servant to someone, either to God or to sin. The sinner prides himself on his independence, completely overlooking the fact that he is the weak slave of the sins that rule his members. The man who surrenders to Christ exchanges a cruel slave driver for a kind and gentle Master whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light.

I just love how He will drive a point deep into my heart when I need it... and yet He does it in such a kind, loving, gentle and faithful manner. His yoke really is easy, and His burden, light. "His commands are not burdensome." God, help me to continually find submission to You a delight. Tune my heart to sing Your praise.

Simple Truths

I have never been a big reader. This is generally not a good thing because there is so much wisdom to be gained through God's Word and through godly men and women that have gone before us. One of the struggles that I always face when reading something new is, "Should I continue reading even if I've read more than I can apply right now?" I am fearful of listening to truth and it not penetrating my heart. The truth that doesn't penetrate my heart will tend to make my heart harder. Any truth rejected is yet another barrier to tear down. I have come to the conclusion that it is good to continue reading because those truths will come to mind at the right times when I really need to be applying them. At the same time, I do not want to ignore the danger of hearing truth and not responding in full obedience to it. I was reading tonight in Psalm 33 and thinking about how the simple truths within it have such a huge impact on how I live.

Here are just a few phrases from Psalm 33:

The Word of the Lord is upright.

All His work is done in faithfulness.

Let all the earth fear the Lord.

The counsel of the Lord stands forever.

He sees all the sons of men.

He fashions the hearts of them all.

He understands all their works.

The eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him.

He is our help and our shield.

It kind of scares me to read a passage like this. Yes, I rejoice very much in the character of God as described here, but it scares me that I could potentially read these things and ignore the impact that they must have on my heart. Let's just look at the first few for example.

The Word of the Lord is upright: If I truly believe that God's Word is right in every way, I must submit my every thought, attitude and action to His instruction within it. How does this change the way I read the Word?

All His work is done in faithfulness: If He is completely faithful and He is in the process of conforming me into the image of His Son, I must be fully faithful. This also means that I have no excuse. He has never failed at acoomplishing His work and He has never been slow in doing it. He is the perfect Father, the perfect Shepherd, the perfect High Priest, the perfect Sacrifice, the perfect Judge. He does all these things with complete faithfulness and He calls me to be filled with the Spirit and faithfulnes is one of the fruits of the Spirit's work inside me. How ought this to impact how I treat my coworkers? How should this impact the way I treat my family? How does this impact the words I say to friends? How does this change my level of commitment to the Lord and His ways? How does this effect my view of sin? How does this change the way I love the Lord?

Let all the earth fear the Lord: This command is to me and to everyone else, but I would do well to take responibility for fearing Him as I ought before attempting to get the whole world to do so lest I fall in the category of one that has cleaned the outside of the cup and still has an inside full of filth. Am I truly living in the fear of the Lord and is this causing my heart to worship Him more, or am I living in the fear of man and doing things to please men rather than God? Do I understand His power enough to flee from any kind of sin at all costs? Do I honor Him in front of my boss, my coworkers, my friends, my family? Am I continually obedient and submissiveto His ways because of my understanding and reverence of Him and the glory He deserves?

I think you can get the picture why it is a bit scary for me to just read a chapter like Psalm 33. The natural tendency is just to move on and check off the chapter as being read, but unless God changes my heart with these things, is it profitable?

God, help me to take Your Word seriously. Use it to cut to the depths of my heart and turn me to fear You as I ought. Turn my heart from any fear of man so that I would serve You without hesitancy. Purify my heart. Teach me to be an effectual doer of the Word and not just a hearer. Guard me from hardness of heart in hearing truth and not applying it. Unite my heart to fear Your name.

My Dependence

It's been a pretty relaxing day today. I worked a little bit more on a little project I was working on in the kitchen, played ulimate frisbee with my family and several students at Cal Baptist University, spent time with the family, and helped a friend of ours with some computer issues. It's not often that I get majorly stuck on a computer issue. Most of them are pretty much the same... or at least have similar methods for resolution of the issue; however, I ran into one tonight that I was unable to resolve in the couple hours that I spent working on it. As I was driving home, God did that gracious nudging that He does so often... "You didn't ask Me for help." I hate when He has to show me that I am working on my own strength and yet so thankful for His faithfulness to do so. His gentle reminders to depend on Him are so needed. For some reason, we think along the lines of... "God, I can't wait until I am strong enough to do this all myself." This thinking is completely contrary to the gospel.

As I think about Christ taking the full wrath of God upon Himself, there is nothing that I can add to the righteousness that I now have in Christ. As Paul says to the Galatians, if we try to add our own righteousness to Christ's for our justification before God, we are left with just our "filthy rag" righteousness... we are still dead in our sins. It is only through completely depending on Christ for the atonement of my sin that I find forgiveness before the holy and just God.

God, thank You for the cross. Thank You for Christ. Thank You for sending Your Son to take Your full wrath so that I bear none of it. Thank You for exchanging my unrighteousness laid upon Christ for His righteousness as a covering for me. Thank You for seeing me, a helpless sinner, just like You see Christ. Thank You for your constant reminders that my dependence must be fully on You. You are my ever present help in time of need. Cause me to turn to You immediately in times of need. Quiet my heart with Your love so that I hear Your clear leading amongst the busyness of life. Make me so in-tune with Your voice that I recognize it and obey it immediately. Thank You again for Christ and for the fact that He has risen and lives to make intercession for us according to Your will. You are so good.

Blessed Fellowship

I absolutely love days like today. The day started with the joy of fellowship in the form of talking and praying with one of my best friends in the world. There really isn't anything I can think of that I enjoy more than that quality time praying together... asking the Lord to work... submitting to Him not only as an individual but as committed brothers. God's invention of fellowship is absolutely brilliant. Had a fun time of playing basketball after that... winning and dunking always make basketball a more joyous experience, but it is a lot of fun regardless. :) It was a very profitable day at work today, I am learning something entirely new and absolutely loving it. This evening was filled with a hands on mini-home-improvement job and fellowship with a wonderful young couple. The Lord used them to be such a great blessing and encouragement to me specifically, but I know He also used them to bless the rest of my family as well. He is so good to me.

I was reading in Ephesians 3 this morning specifically because I wanted to read and pray through verses 14-21. These verse have been very much on my heart for a long time and often come up in my talking with Him.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

I am in continual need of the strength that comes with being filled with His Spirit... the dwelling of Christ in my heart, so that I can understand the depths of His love... not just by myself, but "with the saints"--that is fellowship!

As I meditate on the gospel: my sinfulness and my deserving of God's eternal wrath, Christ having God's wrath poured out on Him on my behalf, I feel like I am so far from being able to understand the depths of His love for me... yet we are to pray for that understanding so that we can be filled up to the fullness of God who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think through His work in us. If that doesn't turn my heart to glory in Christ, I don't know what will.

God, I long to know the depths of Your love for me. Give me a heart of thankfulness. Cause me to meditate continually on Your love so that I love You in return. We like You because and only because You first loved us. We were once separated from You, but now we have been brought near by the blood of Christ. God, thank You for Christ. Put in me a heart that lives no longer for myself but for Christ who died and rose again on my behalf.

When Will It Be Over?

This evening I read the book of Amos. I honestly don't remember the last time I read it, but it has been quite a while. It's not really a book you generally go to for joy and encouragement, but it is inspired by God and profitable! I am saddened by the parallels that I see between the people of Israel as described in Amos and the modern day church. This is not by any means true across the board... but I think we do ourselves great harm not to take responsibility, as men like Nehemiah did, for the unfaithfulness of our nation to God. These words stuck out to me from chapter 8, verses 5-6.

When will the new moon be over, so that we may sell grain? And the sabbath, that we may open the wheat market, to make the bushel smaller and the shekel bigger, and to cheat with dishonest scales, so as to buy the helpless for money and the needy for a pair of sandals, and that we may sell the refuse of the wheat?

I think if we are honest with ourselves before the Lord, we all have done more than our share of living life our own way. While we wouldn't sit in church and say, "When is it going to be over?", we live that way at times. The church as a whole has lost its focus on the treasure of Christ. We seek the next new thing to bring people in the doors so they too can "make their shekel bigger". The fellowship of God's people exhorting one another is no longer the reason we meet, but rather for social interaction that can be found outside the body of Christ. We seek the comfort and encouragement from the Word of God and despise the things that convict us of sin. We have trained our pastors to preach the Word how we like to hear it rather than how the Lord speaks it. We love the Lord as long as He doesn't call us to give up anything for His sake.

God, forgive us for the many ways in which we have forsaken You. Cleanse Your people. Turn our hearts back to You. Don't let our sin go unseen before You, for we desperately need Your shepherding. It is your gentleness that makes us great. Do not grant any peace when we are not fully committed to You. Cause us to turn from sin to serve You, the Living God. Bring Your people together for true fellowship... for speaking to one another with songs, hymns and spiritual songs, for exhorting one another to live for Christ. God, we don't need more social interaction. We need true Spirit-led fellowship with men and women that are passionate about living for You. Put a guard over the lips of our church leaders to proclaim nothing but Your truth. Free them from the fear of man. Give them a passion for You that no longer cares what people might think of their preaching, but only cares to please You, Lord. Bring up godly men and women that will no longer listen to false doctrine. Give them courage. Strengthen their hearts. Use them for Your Name's sake in our churches. Use them amongst Your people. Do whatever it takes to be glorified here once again.

To Love Christ

I have been thinking a bit lately about what it means to just love the Lord. It is a blessing that He has given us little hints of what it ought to be like within our relationships with others whether it be family or friends (or enemies... but we won't go there at this time). :) Do you ever sit down and think, "What would be the most loving thing for me to do right now?" If you don't do that, I would challenge you to start making a habit of it first and foremost in your relationship with the Lord, but also in your relationships with those around you. I was helped a friend of mine with filling out some applications and spiffing up his resume and so I went back and looked at a bunch of my applications and cover letters and letters of recommendation and all that fun stuff. It brought back many memories of many different interviews and challenges and yet pointed me to the incredible faithfulness and loveliness of Christ. I remember specifically in the first couple weeks of work when I was being told to do things that I really disliked... things that weren't making use of my skills... the "dirty work". I remember one of those mornings right before going into work and I heard that clear direction from the Lord... "love him [the person above me]".

This gave me a whole new view (at least experientially) on what it meant to love others... to whole-heartedly seek their best interests, etc. Since then, I have had many such opportunities to grow in this area. The biggest area (and one that I will always be able to grow in) is the area of loving Christ. The strange thing about this is that He is perfectly lovable in every way. This is not at all the case where I am having to seek the other person's best interests regardless of their treatment of me. In this case, He fully loves me regardless of my faults already. There is nothing about Him that is unlovely.

So I must ask myself... "What is best for You, Lord?"... "What would bring You glory today?"... "How can I work for You in these two hours before I get off work?"... "What would please You the most?"... "If You could change anything about me, what would it be?" I heard the song, "While I'm Waiting" from Fireproof on the radio this morning and those phrases, "I will worship while I'm waiting, I will serve You while I'm waiting", just resonated in my heart throughout the day today. It doesn't ultimately matter what He has me doing, but I must continually commit myself to love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. This results in heart-felt worship... not necessarily singing to Him (though that does happen), but the living-sacrifice type of worship. It is the worship of obedience based on love for the most lovable God.

God, make me to love You more... to seek Your will above my own... to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness. Put in me a passion for serving You that cannot be quenched by the passing pleasures of sin. Teach me over and over the joy of serving Christ.

Quick Prayers

We were reading this evening in Nehemiah 2. With God's graciousness in getting me out of a potentially difficult situation (mentioned previously) fresh in my mind... Nehemiah's time and place of prayer really stuck out to me.

So the king said to me, "Why is your face sad though you are not sick? This is nothing but sadness of heart." Then I was very much afraid. I said to the king, "Let the king live forever Why should my face not be sad when the city, the place of my fathers' tombs, lies desolate and its gates have been consumed by fire?" Then the king said to me, "What would you request?" So I prayed to the God of heaven. I said to the king, "If it please the king, and if your servant has found favor before you, send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers' tombs, that I may rebuild it." Then the king said to me, the queen sitting beside him, "How long will your journey be, and when will you return?" So it pleased the king to send me, and I gave him a definite time. And I said to the king, "If it please the king, let letters be given me for the governors of the provinces beyond the River, that they may allow me to pass through until I come to Judah, and a letter to Asaph the keeper of the king's forest, that he may give me timber to make beams for the gates of the fortress which is by the temple, for the wall of the city and for the house to which I will go " And the king granted them to me because the good hand of my God was on me.

So often we get caught up in the stress of the moment and fail to turn to Him as our source of help. True dependence on the Lord would cause us to turn to Him the moment we face difficulty. I just love this passage because here he is standing in front of one of the most powerful people in the world, very close to death (for looking sad)... the king probably surprised him when he asked what he wanted... and rather than jumping on the opportunity right away, he took it to the Lord in prayer. I don't think he told the king to wait for 2 days... or even 5 minutes. I think this was one of those two second, "Lord help me!", prayers. Sometimes, I think these are the most important. It is those short acts of submission to Him... humbling ourselves before Him... reminding ourselves that we can't do it on our own... that really indicate weather or not we are depending on Him as we ought. To prove that this dependence on the Lord as displayed by Nehemiah wasn't just a fluke, we see him give the glory back to God when the king granted his request. How easy it would have been at that moment to say, "I said the right words and the king let me do what I asked and gave his full support." It was God's doing and Nehemiah recognized that... and not only recognized it, but gave Him glory because of it. This is true dependence on the Lord: turning to Him as a first instinct and glorifying Him for any successes.

God, I so often turn to my own wisdom in tough situations. Help me always to take everything to You in earnest prayer! Change my heart to truly love and depend on You as I ought to. Burn away any desires I have to bring glory to myself, for You tell us that every good thing comes from You. Turn my heart to glorify You. Rid me of the self-glorification tendencies of my flesh. Bring me to the end of myself. Glorify Yourself in me and through me.

Great Gain

Pastor Tim was sick so Eric (our newest elder... as of last week) filled in. It was one of those times where the Lord was obviously working in him to speak the truth of the Word to us. Such a blessing! I needed to hear so many of the things he was saying.

This morning we sang these words: "Hast thou not seen how thy desires all have been granted in what He ordaineth?" These words are so convicting and true in my heart! I can't think of any past desire that He has not fulfilled. Yes, sometimes He changed my desires to line up with His, but He met those needs perfectly! My answer to that question is... Yes, I have seen how all my desires have been and are continuing to be fulfilled through Christ and everything that He has planned. The convicting part comes when I ask myself about my level of trust in Him when it comes to the new desires yet to be fulfilled. Even as I think about this, I am writing the words to this song on a little piece of paper that will be added to my random stash of encouragements/prayer requests that sit in the cup holder of my car.

I am reminded of 1 Timothy 6:6...

But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.

Godliness is not for the purpose of gaining wealth or favor with God. Godliness is an act of love for and submission to God's ways. It becomes great gain when we throw out the need to gain His favor (we can't gain it any more than having Christ as our righteousness anyway). It is gain when we are content with what He has given us and we love and serve Him out of that heart of full satisfactions in what He has granted.

God, I have seen how You have indeed granted all my desires within Your perfect plan. I can't even tell You why I don't fully trust You. I want to... I have no reason not to... but my sinful heart is so prone to dependence on self. Help me to see You as my shepherd! I shall not want! I do not lack any good thing. Help me to pursue godliness with a heart of full contentment in what You have given... for it truly is great gain when it is no longer for me but for You. Christ is my righteousness... and I have no favor to gain from You. Your complete favor is mine in Christ. I want to obey You out of love, for that is great gain.

When He Is On Our Side

Life has been so full lately... all good things, but very full! Today was filled with men's Bible study this morning followed by a missions lunch for some friends that are going to Brazil followed by visiting grandma who recently got out of the hospital and celebration of Jonathan's birthday. A day can't get a whole lot better than that, but I am ready to get some rest, that is for sure!

I was reading some Psalms this evening and was meditating on Psalm 124 and the phrase, "Had it not been the Lord who was on our side..." Oh how easily I take Him for granted.

I have made a commitment of sorts for the sake of purity and not having the appearance of evil not to drive alone in the car with a young lady until the proper time with the right young lady... and with boundaries at that point. I say "of sorts" because I see this in the same light as Christ's teaching on the Sabbath... the Sabbath was created for man, not man for the Sabbath. In the same way, this commitment is for the sake of my purity and her purity. There may be a situation that comes up where it has to happen... but that hasn't happened up to this point. I was at work on Friday and was going to help my boss deliver test materials to a few schools. As I was loading the boxes, he mentioned that I would drive his truck and a young lady that works part time would be assisting me in the delivery. I didn't really know what to say and didn't really say anything. As I made the next trip up that stair case to carry some more boxes down, I sent one of those two second prayers up to the Lord... "God, You know my commitment... help me get out of this!" I didn't know what to say or what to do and I have to admit that my faith was very very small at that point. I was thinking, How am I going to get the courage to say something here?"... or... "Is this one of the exceptions to this conviction of mine?" As I was thinking these things, my boss came up to me and said, "Is it okay if she goes with you?" This was the perfect opportunity to graciously tell him that I would prefer not and that I should be able to deliver the test materials without the help.

As I drove to deliver those test materials I was just floored that God would work in the heart of my boss so as to ask me if it was okay... just to make my life easy. He didn't have to do that. He could have let me battle what to do in that difficult situation, but instead, He graciously got me out of the situation with no awkwardness or anything. I was instantly convicted of my small view of God in that moment and asked His forgiveness for my disbelief. This phrase, "Had it not been the Lord who was on our side..." really reminded me that I would be in a whole lot of trouble if the Lord was not on my side. As verse 8 says...

Our help is in the name of the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

The reality is that He created my boss and is fully able to work in his heart however He pleases. Sometimes I get the [false] idea that God works only in those that are submissive to Him, but this is absolutely untrue. God works in all men and women as He deems best. God, thank You for Your abundant grace and help in this situation. You are so good and I am overwhelmed that You would care that much about me to make it "easy" for me to deal with that situation. You truly are the strength of Your people. God, You know how I need these little reminders to trust You more than I do. I believe, help my unbelief! Help me to truly know You... know Your character... know Your heart. Turn that knowledge into full belief resulting in full submission and obedience to Your ways. Thank You for Your faithfulness to me.