Sunday, January 05, 2014

Wrestling with God

The sermon today was very much what I needed. It was about God strengthening us in supernatural ways and our need to depend on Him and ask for that strengthening rather than trying to do things on our own strength. The Lord really took His Word and drove it deep into my heart and revealed areas in which I was not casting my cares fully on Him. I would bring them before Him in prayer but quickly go back to thinking about them in a sinful worried or anxious way. I wasn't actually leaving it all in His hands. After church today, I had like a two hour wrestling match with the Lord as I was praying. I kept finding myself going back to trying to work things out in my own mind and then fighting to release them fully to the Lord. I feel pathetic for it being so hard, but I'm thankful that the Lord didn't let me go without releasing it to Him and finding the peace that really does surpass understanding which is there to guard my mind and heart in Christ Jesus. The verse that comes to mind this evening is from Psalm 94:19...
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.
What I need in these times is more of God. The more I think about and meditate on how great God is and how infinite His wisdom is, the more my anxiety and worry disappears. He is so worth trusting. The peace that He grants is so endless! He is good.