What I Have, I Give You!

These last several days have been difficult ones. I am not one that likes to make huge decisions, but I know they are not to be avoided either. I was looking at the possibility of moving a long way from home and everything I am comfortable with. After many nights of prayer, God graciously worked in my heart to the point where I was willing to go if He made it clear that it was His will. I haven't sensed a strong leading in that direction although that may come. I eventually got to the point where it was occupying my life. I decided to take a day off of thinking about it and just focus on Him. There is nothing like the peace He offers in the midst of huge decisions. It was a process of once again releasing every aspect of life to Him. He is so faithful and patient with me.

I was reading this evening in Matthew 19, specifically verses 16-26.

And someone came to Him and said, "Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?" And He said to him, "Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments." Then he said to Him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man said to Him, "All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?" Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property. And Jesus said to His disciples, "Truly I say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. "Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, "Then who can be saved?" And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

As I was considering the events of the last couple weeks and my need to depend on Him for those big decisions, I was reminded of how much I have here. God has blessed me far beyond what I can even imagine. I often wonder why it is a continual process of releasing thing to Him. The easy conclusion is that I am not only tempted to grab hold of things that don't belong to me... I am actually doing it. I could identify with this young ruler... going away sadly. Jesus was referring to eternal life here, but sometimes we are called to "follow Him" where He leads... and that may mean leaving everything. Why was it a struggle for me? Because I am rich. God has blessed me... and rather than praising Him for those blessings, I grew close to them. I held on tightly. He needed to gently peel my fingers off the people and things that I had grown close to in order to be able to say with all my heart, what I have, I give You... where You lead, I will follow... no matter where that may be.

While I don't think He is going to lead me away soon, I am thankful for His work in my heart over these last weeks. He is so gracious and kind. He reminded me of the many blessings He has poured out continually on me. I pray that I will never take those for granted or grab hold of them with a death grip, but rather cling fully to Him thanking Him for those blessings but completely ready to let them go if He chooses to take them from me. His will be done.