Thursday, December 30, 2010

Not Too Much... Not Too Little

It's been a great week of fun with the family. We have had a lot of wonderful time together from going up to the mountains and playing in the snow/hiking (and falling on rocks while protecting the camera and cell phone in each hand). haha This is pretty much my first time off since starting the new job back at the beginning of July... and it has been very nice and refreshing. One thing that I have often prayed is that God would not bless me beyond what I am able to handle, because I have seen how I am prone to self-dependence when things are going well. I ran across this passage in Proverbs 30:7-9 the other day that I completely forgot about.
Two things I asked of You, do not refuse me before I die: Keep deception and lies far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion, that I not be full and deny You and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or that I not be in want and steal, and profane the name of my God.
I think these two things are the source of most of the "hard times" we face in life. We either have too much, and our hearts are turned from Christ to the love material things or feel self-sufficient... or we have too little... and because of that, we don't trust His sovereignty in providing for us. I have gone through times of both of these things this year. While having too much seems like a good problem, it is hard to continually trust the Lord when He has blessed so abundantly. It is not at all a lack of His work that makes it hard to trust Him, but the temptation is for us to depend on ourselves... to rest in the security of our jobs or our future plans. How many times has He taken your plans and changed them? How many times has He taken the very thing you depended on away from You? May I suggest that this is the amazing love of the all-wise Father. We see a pattern in the lives of the Israelites, and if I am honest, I can see much the same pattern in my own heart even if it doesn't show on the outside in the same way that it did with the Israelites. God blessed them abundantly... they turned their own way... God made their circumstances so that they had to depend on Him... they turned from sin and trusted Him again... He blessed them... they turned their own way... etc.

God, these words... Your words in Proverbs 30 are so wise. I do not desire a life of ease. I am scared to pray that, but I want more than anything to walk with You all the days of my life. I ask for Your amazing love and grace in always providing what I need. I don't ask for more than that, though You have given much more than what I need. I ask for Your help to continually depend on You now in this time of plenty... and ask for Your help in the times where I don't feel like I have enough. Plant Your Word deep inside my heart so that my response, whether I have much or little, is that of contentment in Your perfect plan. Teach me dependence and trust in You so that my heart is not one that is wavering based on circumstance, but rather a heart of steadfastness in trusting and living for Your fame.

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