Faith and Humility

In family devotions the other day, we read in Luke 7:1-10 where Jesus heals the centurion's servant. Although I have heard this story a whole bunch of times, I noticed something that I had never noticed before.

When He had completed all His discourse in the hearing of the people, He went to Capernaum. And a centurion's slave, who was highly regarded by him, was sick and about to die. When he heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish elders asking Him to come and save the life of his slave. When they came to Jesus, they earnestly implored Him, saying, "He is worthy for You to grant this to him; for he loves our nation and it was he who built us our synagogue." Now Jesus started on His way with them; and when He was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to Him, "Lord, do not trouble Yourself further, for I am not worthy for You to come under my roof; for this reason I did not even consider myself worthy to come to You, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. "For I also am a man placed under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, 'Go!' and he goes, and to another, 'Come!' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he does it." Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled at him, and turned and said to the crowd that was following Him, "I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such great faith." When those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.

I found it really interesting and amazing that these Jewish elders came to Jesus and told Him that this centurion was worthy of Jesus coming and healing the servant. Obviously, none of us are worthy of Him... and yet to have people say something like that about you is pretty incredible. He even took the time to build the synagogue for the Jews. Anyway, the thing that really stuck out to me is that these people all said he was worthy and then when Jesus was coming, he didn't even feel worthy to see Jesus face to face, but sent someone else to deliver the message that he was unworthy of Jesus' presence. He had great faith, yes, but he also seems to have been living in the reality of who Jesus was and had great humility toward God.

What a great example for me... great faith with great humility. I need greater awareness of who He is in comparison to who I am so that I live in the reality of how great He is.

More of Him

Bible study at Cal Baptist started back up tonight... such a blessing as usual. Christina was loaded with homework, so she didn't end up coming with me (which was kind of nice because I got to spend much time in prayer out loud). :) I like to pray out loud in the car in order to keep myself focused. It really was a great time of fellowship with Him, but the thing that really pressed on my heart is that I need Him more than ever right now. I was thinking of all the big life decisions coming up in the next year or so and thinking that I really can't do life without Him... I need Him to be the center of these decisions more than anything else!

I was speaking of all the things He is to me... my life, my breath, my savior, my redeemer, my friend, my God, my all-sufficient sacrifice, my righteousness, my rock, my protector, my provider, the only way, my light, my guide, my only source of wisdom, my desire to do good, my hope, my everlasting king, my refuge, my fortress, etc. The more I thought about just how much He is, the more I realized just how much I need Him... and I realize that I will never get to the point where I know how much I need Him. I need Him far beyond what I can even imagine.

On the way home from Bible study, I was listening to a sermon which was actually more geared toward marriage, but the point that the pastor was making is that as we enter more things... work, marriage, kids, etc... with each new thing, we need more of the Holy Spirit. I love how God works like that... He got the pre-Bible study message across and then followed up with a post-Bible study message. :) Anyway, I am more convinced than ever before that I need more of Him. Please pray to this end!

God Uses People

It's been a really long time since I've posted here. Life has been full of many things such as, grandpa's memorial service, team handball in Chicago, organizing of a mission trip, work, school, stitches, etc. God is good, but I greatly miss writing here in that going back and reading the things I have written are a blessing to me as I reflect on what He has done in my life.

Anyway, I was reading in Joshua 1 this evening and noticed something that I hadn't noticed previously. This is a prime example of how God uses people to communicate His message. Throughout the chapter (verses 6, 7, and 9), God is telling Joshua to be strong and courageous. In verse 18, God uses the people to communicate this message to Joshua as well!

They answered Joshua, saying, "All that you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. Just as we obeyed Moses in all things, so we will obey you; only may the Lord your God be with you as He was with Moses. Anyone who rebels against your command and does not obey your words in all that you command him, shall be put to death; only be strong and courageous."

It seems weird that God would say it four times like that... until I think of my life and how much I need Him to continually remind me of what He has called me to do. I am so thankful for the godly influences in my life continually reminding me of who I am in Christ and what I am supposed to do. It's also a good reminder to me that I need to be God's instrument more in the area of pointing people toward Him in their actions.

Conquer the World!?!.... or not!

This morning was quite humorous. I set my alarm for 5:30 am in order to get some things done... spend time in the word... etc. It was one of those mornings where you wake up ready to conquer the world. Well, God, with His sense of humor decided that conquering the world was not His plan for me, but rather conquering... dog vomit all over the house. haha Usually this would be frustrating, but it made me laugh because the same exact thing happened the last time I tried to do something similar. It ended up being a good time in prayer. It was a great reminder to me that my plans are not ultimate. He is completely in control and can change my plans however He desires. I do hope that my plans are not continually changed in this way... maybe something more exciting. ;) Anyway, I found it neat how God could take something like dog vomit and turn it into a blessing. This evening, I decided to read over Philippians 3 since it is one of my favorite chapters.

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

I know you see these verses on my blog all the time, but it is something that I need to be continually reminded of. Reflecting over the last year of my life, I see times where I have done well, and I see times where I have reached behind rather than forward. It's important for me to remember that those times are gone now. I can't change the past. What I did for Him will last... what I did for myself will not last. I am excited about this next year of life. It is another year to live for Him... another year to press on toward the goal.

It's kind of awkward asking for a birthday gift, but I am going to go ahead and ask anyway. I would like to ask for your prayers... specifically:

1) That Christ would be the center of my daily living.
2) That He would grant me His wisdom in the huge/life-changing decisions that will be made this next year.
3) That I would grow continually closer to Him both in knowledge of Him and in obedience to what He reveals.
4) That I would have a tender heart toward His ways... that I would be responsive to His leading without delay.
5) That God would use my life for His glory.

To Give Everything

You may or may not know this, but I don't read very much. To be completely honest, I don't really enjoy reading. This has some positive aspects and some negative ones. I think it is generally easier to read about something than to do it... I am thankful that He has given me more of a desire to do things rather than just read about them. Lack of reading books outside of scripture can be a good thing as well in that I am forced to formulate ideas based on His Word rather than taking someone else's word for it and following their idea. Having said this, there are many godly people who have gone before us and have written of their learnings... and this is extremely valuable. Thus, the negative thing about not enjoying reading and not reading much is that I miss out on some valuable insight from the people who have gone before me. My pastor recommended and let me borrow "Shadow of the Almighty" by Elisabeth Elliot during my second year of college. I just finished reading it yesterday. While not enjoying reading had some to do with that, the biggest reason is that I often found myself rereading all the places my pastor or I underlined in the book (he did say that I could). Anyway, I finally finished it and while I generally don't post content here other than from scripture, I must share this in that God used it to kind of rip my heart.

Two days later, on Sunday, Jan. 8, 1956, the men for whom Jim Elliot had prayed for six years killed him and his four companions.

This is a very sobering reminder to me. God is ultimately in control, but we are responsible for our part. Jim Elliot was committed to His ways... and He called Jim to go to these people and Jim was diligent about it. Praying for six years is no easy task... not only did he pray, but he did everything he could to prepare. God took his life and to my knowledge, Jim didn't see one of those people saved. This can seem like a waste of life, but God never wastes anything. He has a perfect plan. He used the death of Jim Elliot and the four others to draw these people to Himself. I was thinking about this commitment... to pray for six years... to work hard... and then to be okay with being killed by the same people he had prayed for. That is commitment for His sake. I then thought of Christ's sacrifice... He did infinitely more than this... He created us... and then was killed by His creation. While Jim's death in itself was in vain, God used it to draw people to Himself. In contrast, Christ's death was not in vain, but to give everyone an opportunity to be saved. Jim Elliot really did live a life modeled after Christ. It is a great blessing and encouragement to see that a human can (through His power) live a life patterned after Christ. Now to live it!

God's Faithfulness to the Unfaithful

I finally got back to Hosea 2. It is a prophecy about how God will treat Israel when they have in essence become a harlot by worshiping other gods (note the parallel between this and the prior passage). Take a look at verse 3.

Or I will strip her naked and expose her as on the day when she was born I will also make her like a wilderness,make her like desert land and slay her with thirst.

This is interesting. God seems to have absolutely no mercy. He is going to completely humiliate Israel and basically torment them, and yet if we read further in verse 16 and following, we see God's plan to restore Israel.

It will come about in that day, declares the LORD, that you will call Me Ishi and will no longer call Me Baali.

Here we see a heart of repentance... turning from false gods and turning to Him as the supreme ruler... this is followed by a renewal of relationship with Him in verse 23.

I will sow her for Myself in the land I will also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, and I will say to those who were not My people, You are My people! And they will say, You are my God!

It is such a blessing that we serve a God who is completely faithful not only to punish us when we stray from Him, but to also bring us to repentance and draw us near to Himself once again. I think if we look at the summary of our lives... we will see this pattern throughout... our unfaithfulness followed by His faithfulness and work to bring us back to Himself. What a blessing!

Grandpa Passed Away

It's been a bit of a rough weekend. We were on our way to visit grandpa and grandma when we received a call that grandpa had a heart attack and died. I am reminded that God is God and I am not. I do not know for sure if he was saved or not. I do know that he definitely knew the gospel... read the New Testament... wasn't against the gospel... etc. This doesn't save him by any means, but I know that it's entirely in God's hands. Honestly, it hasn't completely set in yet. I had a mini-cry last night, but it really doesn't seem real yet. We were very close... and it is just going to take a while for me to really come to grips with the whole thing. We just sang happy birthday to him on the phone the other day... and now he is gone. I didn't talk with him on the phone after we sang because I figured I'd see him the next day. While I think it would have been nice to do so, I don't see any reason to regret it. I was thinking about why people would regret things when people die. I have often heard things like... "I never got a chance to say goodbye." While this is true, I don't see a purpose for having regrets or even wishing for such. God is God! The person is gone and no longer cares about such things! Why do people worry about this stuff? The one thing that I think can be regretted in a healthy way is not sharing the gospel with a person that died without Him. I had an opportunity several years ago to spend a day with grandpa and shared the gospel and talked with him about it all throughout the day. This wasn't the only time he heard the gospel... he heard it continually, so I am completely at peace. I really really really want to see him in heaven someday... and I hope with all my heart that he is there, but I also know that God is God... and He does what is best. I trust Him.

Obedience When God Doesn't Make Sense

I got to spend some time in prayer with a friend this morning. What an incredible blessing. I absolutely love spending time in prayer without distractions. To be completely honest, I was quite exhausted and mostly asleep (like 5:20 am), but it was a great blessing anyways. I read Hosea 1 this evening and it really wants to make me read more, but I decided to take it one chapter at a time for more of his perspective on this whole thing. Take a look at this command from God in verses 2 and 3.

When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, "Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the LORD." So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.

Up to this point, it doesn't tell us whether or not God had revealed His plans to Hosea. Regardless of if God had revealed His plans to Hosea... I can't even imagine going out and finding a harlot to be my wife... someone walking completely contrary to His ways. This really makes me think. How much do I trust God? If He told me to do something completely radical for His sake, would I be willing to give up my plans and do it? It is a tough question. In my head, I say, Yes! Absolutely!... but when the rubber meets the road, it's not so easy. Rather than jumping into the next few chapters, I am going to try to allow God to work in my heart in the area of complete obedience... regardless of if it fits my plans.

He Does Work

I was reading Zephaniah 1 this evening and had been thinking about how He works in not only my life, but the lives of those around me. I have such a tendency to take the credit that He deserves. When I start to do this, I slowly drift into a very dangerous situation... in my heart, He is not longer the provider of every good and perfect thing... He is no longer the One I am serving... He is no longer the One who gave me the ability to live, move, and breathe... He no longer is the Living God. I lower Him down to someone invisible... that does nothing... that ignores my sin... etc. While I don't sit there and say these things to myself, I find it easy become complacent if I am not continually pursuing full obedience. I loved the reminder in Zephaniah 1:12.

It will come about at that time, that I will search Jerusalem with lamps, and I will punish the men who are stagnant in spirit, who say in their hearts, "The LORD will not do good or evil!"

He does see my sin... He will punish it... He does good... and He does harm too! A quick side note, don't be confused by the word evil here. God does not and cannot sin... this is referring to the pouring out of His judgment. He is the Living God!

Today & Isaiah 30

I read Isaiah 30 this morning because I had been thinking of verse 21 the last couple of days.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

In this time of my life, I really don't sense a whole lot of direction as far as work goes. God's Word is full of instructions... and far beyond what I can live up to, but I have a desire for His specific leading. If we look at this passage more in context... verses 1 and 2 summarize it pretty well.

"Woe to the obstinate children," declares the LORD, "to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin; who go down to Egypt without consulting me; who look for help to Pharaoh's protection, to Egypt's shade for refuge.

I was thinking about how often in my life I am seeking His guidance and when He wants me to be patient and wait on Him, I seek my own way. I don't want to go my own way. I am at a point in life where my decisions really have a huge impact on the rest of my life. While decisions are always important... from birth really... this is a pivotal time of my life. Seeking His will in work, education, relationships, ministry, etc. There are a lot of things to consider right now. I don't want to be a young man carrying out my own plans which are not His. I want to be following exactly His plans. I want to hear that voice behind me every step of the way. He is so faithful... I just need to listen.

Back from Germany!

I started writing blog posts probably about five times, but never finished any of them. Anyway, I am back from Germany. It was extremely challenging both physically and spiritually, but God was more than enough. Thank you for your prayers! I can't tell you how many ways God protected me. We ended up winning four games and losing two. God definitely blessed.

I am in the process of preparing to be a counselor at Awana camp. I have a wonderful co-counselor and am really looking forward to how the Lord will use the week in my heart as well as all the kids in my cabin. I am just starting to go through Romans and the epistles in preparation for camp. Tonight, I read the first four chapters of Romans... what a blessing! There is a whole lot in there, but verses 19-21 in chapter 4 really caught my attention.

Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.

I think this is one of the best definitions of faith in the Bible... "being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform." There are so many times that I doubt God... not because I don't think He can do it, but because I don't think He will. I try to take things into my own hands (much like Abraham did with Hagar), and things end up a mess. I need to have a heart that is "fully assured" that what He says He will do... He will do! I know faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God, so I guess that just means that I need to be spending more time in the Word.

Here we go!

I leave in a few hours for the airport. It is kind of hard to believe that I am actually going! I greatly covet your prayers as I set out to enter the mostly unknown. I have such peace knowing that He is in complete control. At the same time, I have very little peace knowing that my heart is prone to wander. I need to be completely dependent on Him more than ever before. I am thrilled to go out to Germany... there will be many opportunities both for good and evil. My heart must be completely focused on Him throughout this trip. I was playing piano a few minutes ago... "People Need the Lord". I was thinking about the lyrics... "We are called to take His light, to a world where wrong seems right. What could be too great a cost, for sharing life with one that's lost?" It is absolutely true, the world is full of people and things that make wrong seem right. It is our job to share His light in a loving, but unrestrained way. We can't put a cost on eternally significant things like sharing the message of the gospel. Please continue to pray for me... for the hearts of the guys... for the hearts of the coaches. I am thrilled, but I need His help.

Going to Germany!

God has blessed me with a rather unique and unexpected opportunity. As of Friday evening, I was invited to play on the USA National Team Handball team in Germany from May 31st - June 8th. They needed a decision by Saturday and so after talking with my parents about it, we decided that I should go. I have to pay a very small amount, the rest is sponsored. This is a huge blessing! Anyway, I have a number of prayer requests that go along with this opportunity. Please pray...

1) That I would play my hardest as unto the Lord rather than for men (any athlete out there knows that there is a huge temptation to do things to please the coach and other players).

2) That they would see my effort as something that comes from Him and not from me (thinking specifically of Daniel and his friends in the Old Testament standing out among all the wise men).

3) That He would be glorified in both my words and my actions (I am prone to take glory that isn't mine... and I need His help).

4) That God would open doors of opportunity to talk with these teammates and coaches about Christ (I see this as a mission trip of a different type).

5) That the way I live would cause a bunch of guys, far away from home and accountability, to reconsider the actions which would be normal, for godless guys, in such circumstances (these guys need to see that there is more to live for than the pleasures of the moment).

I do not know if there are any other Christians on the team. I am praying that there are, but I have no idea as of this point. I realize that I am not at all beyond falling. Living for Him is a moment by moment decision. I covet your prayers a great deal as I go out to represent Team USA, but most of all, Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:10
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.

I have chosen 1 Corinthians 15:10 as my key verse for this trip because it truly is only by God's grace that I live, breathe and have the opportunity to go on this trip. While Paul's words about laboring more than everyone else is concerning the gospel, I intend to work harder than everyone else out there in the practices and games for His glory.

Our God is a Consuming Fire!

It has been a long time since I've posted on here, and I really regret that as I am forgetting much of what I am learning since I am not writing it down as much. I have been very busy, but not too busy to write this stuff down... just haven't done it. Anyway, the message this Sunday was from Exodus 19 and Hebrews 12 mostly. I had a chance to teach the high school Awana kids Revelation 21 and 22 last night because the speaker didn't show up. I think I learned the new best definition of full dependence on Him--trying to teach Revelation with little to no preparation. ;) I think God blessed... I actually talked too long which surprised me. Anyway, we sang "Open the Eyes of My Heart", and I was thinking about that song in light of the things in Exodus 19 and Hebrews 12. Take a look at verses 18-21.

For you have not come to a mountain that can be touched and to a blazing fire, and to darkness and gloom and whirlwind, and to the blast of a trumpet and the sound of words which sound was such that those who heard begged that no further word be spoken to them. For they could not bear the command, "If even a beast touches the mountain, it will be stoned." And so terrible was the sight, that Moses said, "I am full of fear and trembling."

This is referring back to Exodus 19 where boundaries were set around Mt. Sinai because God's presence was going to come down in a cloud. God's holiness is a serious matter when it mixes with our complete unholiness. I was thinking that if we truly saw Him like "Open the Eyes of My Heart" asks for... we would die instantly. The end of Hebrews 12 says that our God is a consuming fire! This is generally not the picture of God that we get in our normal Sunday school lesson. We tend to get the, "God is love." a whole lot more than the "God is a consuming fire." I think it is important that we reverence God for who He is. If you look at scripture... He doesn't mess around... opening the earth and swallowing up a bunch of people... plagues of Egypt... loss of David's son... people struck dead for being dishonest... and don't forget the final judgement in Revelation. While He is abundant in grace, He is a consuming fire! We would be foolish to take Him lightly. It is such a privilege to be able to come into His presence... with all God's righteousness condemning our unrighteousness... but us being credited with all of Christ's righteousness because of the price He paid. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! Let's not make light of the gift He has given us.

Applying the Law of Moses

It has been a really long time since I have posted anything. I went to North Carolina for almost a week for Awana Summit. God really blessed the trip. Christina received a gold medal for a sign language fine arts thing she did. Jonathan received silver for his piano piece. Christina also got silver for Bible Quiz. Overall, the Lord really blessed. It was a whole lot of fun. I got to see many old friends and met several new friends.

We have been studying the law at church... actually, just getting into it. Today was kind of an overview of how to study the law and I found it extremely helpful and I think you will as well.

The law (first five books of the Old Testament) tends to be quite unstudied even by those of us that have grown up in the church. We know that all scripture is inspired and is profitable (2 Timothy 3:16), but we find it hard to apply the Old Testament law. We know we should obey the commandments to not steal, not murder, not covet, etc., but how about those other sacrifices and feasts and everything? Can we just pick and choose what we think applies and what we think doesn't apply? Is some of God's Word void now? The New Testament makes it clear that the Old Covenant has been fulfilled in the person hood of Christ. Let's take a look at how these things apply.

God's Word is anything but void! You might be shocked, but all of scripture applies to today. No, I'm not saying go find a lamb and slaughter it, but the principles apply completely. We can't throw out any of scripture, but rather look for the principles in it. How do we know if we should obey it as written... "thou shalt not covet" for example... or if we should apply the principle of the instructions for a sacrifice for example? Sometimes the principles are at surface level such as "love your neighbor as yourself", other times it is buried deep and it takes much work to find the application for it. The principles in the Old Testament law will be clearly reflected and supported elsewhere in Scripture, including the New Testament. This is how we know if the principle is on the surface level or if we need to dig down deep to find it. Regardless, it all applies. We can't just go read Leviticus and expect to get everything from it by reading a chapter for five or ten minutes. It takes work... hard work. Practically speaking, we should look for:

1. What did this mean for the people in those days?
2. How did this help them love God?
3. How did this help them love others?
4. How does this apply to me now?

I would encourage everyone to read and study the Old Testament law and to dig deep and find out how it applies now... and then apply it! There are likely to be many things that Christians debate about within these texts, but we are encouraged by Paul to not make these matters of worthless arguments. There is nothing wrong with discussing these things, in fact, I'd encourage you to do so, but there is a point where things that are not completely clear can cause division. This ought not be the case. You might be interested in reading Acts 15 to see how the early church dealt with some of these issues. We are no longer under the requirements of the Old Testament law, but it still has application to the here and now!

The Gospel According to 1 John 3

I went out with some guys today and played paintball in the hills... so much fun! :) Please don't ask me why it is fun to shoot each other with little plastic balls flying at 280 feet per second... but it is incredibly fun. It's actually not fun to play without getting hit either. It really doesn't make a lot of sense to think about, but I guess I shouldn't over-think it. :) I have been memorizing 1 John 3 along with a bunch of other people. I'd encourage you to do the same. If you shoot me an email, I'll get you a copy of the schedule. Anyway, it has been a great blessing to me over the last several days. I am up to verse 6 right now.

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.

Over the last several days, as I have been memorizing and meditating on these words, there have been several things that have jumped out at me. First of all, the amazing love that He has poured on us through Him dying to take our punishment so that we could be called children of God. It caused me to think about the concept of the world not knowing me. Can I truly say that the world doesn't know me? When I am around others, do they feel the need to face who Christ is and what He has done, or am I just another person walking on the globe? Now that we have received the blessing of knowing Him and being called His child, when He is fully revealed, we will have no desire to be anything but exactly like He is. When we see Him in complete righteousness, there will be no higher calling than to be just like Him. Okay, well that is a ways down the road... but what about now? Has He not revealed Himself to us? Has He not given us the hope of His coming? Because of this great hope, it ought to push us on toward full purity because He is pure and we ought to desire nothing less than complete purity. Another thing that hit me hard was that we take sin so lightly. We see "little sins" and "big sins"... and as long as we stay with the "little sins", we are okay. Not true! Sin is living as if God's law doesn't exist. It's saying, God... I know you don't want me to do this, but I'm doing it. The opposite of sin is abiding in Him. He says that if we abide in Him that we cannot sin. If we sin, we are living as if we have never known Him at all! Is that really the picture that we want to give the world? Let me tell you... that is the picture the world has of Christians. They see us living like people that have never even known Him, so why should they follow our example? I realize there are no perfect people and that this is not a valid excuse for rejecting Him... but we must do our part in making His name glorious through our words and actions.

To Die For

Over the last few days, I have been thinking quite a bit about what is worth living for and what is worth dying for. I watched the video of a memorial service of a young man who was literally sharing the truth of God's Word until the moment he died. He obviously lived a life passionate about God and eternity. He was not scared of death, but rather scared for those who didn't know Him when they died. As Christians, we ought to live with this same mindset. I think of our calling in Matthew 10:27-28.

What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

The death of the body is not something to be feared. The death of our soul and the souls of others for eternity is something we ought to fear. I want to live a life of urgency for the souls of others. I saw a truck flip over on the freeway the other day. Thankfully, the girl got out okay... but life can end at any moment. Our next breath is not guaranteed to us! I was thinking about what my memorial service might be like someday (which is kind of weird in that I think Christ will come again in my lifetime), but anyway... I hear so often that people want to be honored for their love and service to the Lord at their memorial service. While this is great... I don't want to be the one honored at my memorial service. I want people to look at my life and see what an awesome God that I had the privilege of serving. I don't want them to see the service that I have done as me, but as God's work of grace in my heart. He alone is worthy of all of our praise.

I Just Need Him!

As a worship leader for Awana and Bible study, I have found it easy to sing the words and not fully allow the words that I am singing to fill my heart. It is a constant battle. At Awana tonight, as I was deciding which songs to sing, I kept coming back to the fact that God is completely... 100% enough for me. The words of that song... all of You is more than enough for all of me, for every thirst and every need, You satisfy me with Your love, and all I have in You is more than enough. It is so much easier to sing those words than to live in the reality of those things. I have often found myself coming back to that song as a reminder that He really is all I need. I can stop looking everywhere else! Really, it is the them of this blog. To count everything as loss compared to the value of Christ. I really cannot completely fathom how much He is to me. I was reminded of Acts 17:24-28.

The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and
earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human
hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life
and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to
live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and
the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps
they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;
for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said,
'For we also are His children.'

The fact is that we continue to exist only because God has allowed us to. If I could only maintain that mindset about my life... which is really not mine... it is His, I can only imagine how differently I would live. I am so drawn to my pride and selfishness... when He is giving me each breath that I breathe. Each breath is another opportunity to bring Him glory.

Our Best "Creations"

I guess I haven't really updated about the job situation and graduate school. I did not get the job at Cal Baptist, but I am thankful for the opportunity to interview and I know that God's will was done. I am still applying to a lot of different places and receiving very few responses, but God is in control. It only takes one! :) As far as graduate school goes, it looks like I will be bailing out on that for a while. It is actually $3,000 more per quarter than I thought it was (miscommunication). Right now, I don't think it would be the wisest investment of my money. To be completely honest, when I heard that it was online and that it was so cheap, I really didn't look elsewhere; however, the lady must have been talking about student fees when I asked her about tuition pricing. Oh well. God is in control of those things too. With the housing market being down like it is, I think that may be a wise investment of my money, but I am waiting on a few things like His leading and the job.

I was reading Jeremiah 10 today and thinking about it in light of what I do on a daily basis. I absolutely love programming and feeling creative, but really, all creativity comes from Him. These verses (14-15) don't completely apply, but you will see what I'm talking about.

Every man is stupid, devoid of knowledge; every goldsmith is put to shame by his idols; for his molten images are deceitful, and there is no breath in them. They are worthless, a work of mockery; in the time of their punishment they will perish.

While this is comparing a work of wickedness to God's creation, it applies to me to some extent as well. Being a software developer... or "creator" really feels nice, but when you think of it in light of "having breath", it looks pretty weak! I am not saying that the software isn't profitable, but just the fact that God puts breath into things is so incredible. With all the technology that we have, it is a blessing to read things like this where God puts us back in our place. It is humbling know that He chooses when we come into the world and when we go out... and there is nothing we can do to add a millisecond to that time. He truly is the only creator. I am simply a blessed servant with the ability to program computers that are infinitely less complex than the human mind. :) I can't even imagine the joy that He has in His creation.

Back in the Air

I found out the other day that graduate school costs $3,000 more (per quarter) than I expected. It was a miscommunication. So everything is back in the air... I am debating whether or not to continue with it at this point. I would definitely appreciate your prayers regarding such decisions. I have been applying to a bunch of different places. The last one I applied for seems to be a great fit... and it's 3 miles from where a godly young man is working as a fireman, so it would be great to be able to spend some time with him and have some fellowship throughout the week. Prayers would be appreciated for that as well. God sure has a way of keeping me on my toes. haha Just when I think I have the plan figured out, He throws a loop in there to make sure that I am trusting Him. :) He knows best!

We read 2 Peter 1 in family devotions tonight. Verses 5 through 9 really caught my attention.

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.

This is both a great encouragement and a strong warning. I was really convicted tonight that I have been in the later situation far too often. The moment I start doing what I want to do rather than what God wants to do, I really am forgetting all that He has purified me from. He has taken me from the consequences of sin to the joy of living for Him and yet how often do I forget where I came from? I must be diligent in doing these things so that I am not useless or unfruitful. I want to live a life that is filled with the fruit of righteousness, not a wasted life.